Musings of Mommy Dearest

Sleepy

2012-01-26T22:03:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it's fights and forced apologies.

I'm sorry.

Sometimes it's 3 bowls of oatmeal and hungry bellies.

I want some more honey in mine!

Sometimes it's homework and I forgot my book in Science class.

Really?

Sometimes it's driving to practice.

Be safe and have fun.

Sometimes it's would you please be nice to your sister?

She's annoying!

Sometimes it's kisses goodnight and don't forget to bring your book tomorrow!

(I won't)

But right now I'm tired, and sometimes is resting. I'll kiss your faces in the morning.

5 reasons why I love today....

2011-09-19T12:09:00.000-07:00

....just in case I get all melancholy for some reason and forget.

1. Ethan received an award at school "For always setting an excellent example to others, showing great participation, and having a positive attitude!" I mean, I couldn't be more proud of him. Attitude goes a long way and I'm thankful that a good one comes naturally to him.

4th one in from the left.

2. Clemmie is getting over the sickies. Not sure what she had going on, but she threw up Saturday night, had a 103.5 fever, and actually took a nap - during the daytime! I wouldn't mind if she stuck to that last one. But as long as she's feeling better I'll gladly take her awake for 13 hours straight.

3. I don't have a million loads of laundry to do! Bobby and the boys folded all the laundry this weekend so I have 1 maybe 2 to tackle. Easy peasy - I'll just fold it while one of the "Housewives" is on (hopefully Beverly Hills or NJ).

4. I found the perfect mask for Sebastian's Egyptian costume he has to make for school.

5. Gonna start the Fluenz CD's I borrowed from a girlfriend. Se habla Español? Sí!

TMI. And I don't care!

2011-09-16T13:37:00.000-07:00

It's tiny - but there!

Vega's first tooth has finally graced us with its presence. After 10 months of bare gums, I can now feel the jagged ridges of a baby tooth. Her left one on the bottom, to be exact - just in case someday she might wanna know that.

She still looks the same - you would never know she had a tooth unless you were searching for it. But it's there - and it's legit. She'll be a year in a month and a half. Guess it had to happen sometime.

In addition to all the hooplah surrounding her new tooth, I think I'm done breastfeeding her. It wasn't planned this way, and if you know me, you would know how a piece of me is devasted that my nursing days are over because I am the biggest sentimental on earth. But with the addition of this new tooth of hers, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I have some shudder-inducing memories from when the other kids were babies - they would turn their heads abruptly and pull away with my nipple firmly planted between their spiky little teeth not letting go until I screamed with pain. Only then would they let go and look at me like I was crazy.

But I really wanted to breastfeed her until she was 2, teeth and all. I just wasn't producing enough milk to keep it going. And YES - to all the ignorants out there - and you know who you are - breastfeeding past the age of one has MANY benefits. Do your research and please don't mistake your opinion from truth. I'll step down from the podium now, thank you. She won't benefit from them, but she's healthy and that's all that matters. I gave her nearly a year's worth of antibodies and perfect nutrition. I think she'll be good.

And my nipples will be, too. Thanks.

9/2/11

2011-09-02T16:27:00.001-07:00

Clementine's going through my phone right now, squealing with delight as she comes across old pictures of herself. There she is, wind-blown hair sailing out to sea on the fake wooden boat in the back of grandpa's house. Oh, and there's one of her and Vega lying on my bed together - Vega still fuzzy on top and more round in the cheeks than she is now. Clemmie's "bob" still very "Madeleine-ish" and fresh. 5 months ago.

5 months ago, and now the two of them - they are a changin'.

Clemmie is still Clemmie for the most part, lounging around the house most days in undies and a saggy ponytail, purposely stepping on Vega's fingers or playing with her miniature castle and plastic princess figurines. She can play with them for a very long time - all by herself - and sometimes I think, so THIS is what it's like. No longer a baby, toddler days are a thing of the past.....I now have a full-fledged, hardcore, so smart it'll knock your mismatched argyle socks off, darling little GIRL.

Yeah, she can be a meanie to her little sister. And yeah, it can really piss me off even though I know she's just jealous of all the attention Vega needs. All the attention that was once ALL hers.

But I know she loves her. Those kisses and squeezes that are given through gritted teeth are kisses and squeezes nonetheless, and for a girl whose heart is as big and beautiful as hers, they are coming from a place of love. No doubt about it. Vega will sometimes return the favor and give Clemmie one of her famous slobbery open-mouthed kisses that we all covet so much.Lucky!

She doesn't give them super freely, but when she does it's like whatever you think is the best thing in the world x 100. She still doesn't have any teeth so there's no pain involved, just the sweetest breath and lots of slobber surrounded by a smooth, round happy baby face peering right at you from less than an inch away. Ain't nothing better.

But ask her any day to give HERSELF a kiss which is done in the mirror, and her whole face lights up, her body convulses with happiness or eagerness or both, her mouth opens, and she plants one on the cold hard surface immediately, and sometimes twice.

Guess I can't blame her.....she IS really cute.

10 months. already.

August 1st, 2011

2011-08-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

There is a baby on my boob. Or is it a little monkey? I can't tell these days - because Vega is my Curious Georgina. Not because she's curious, but because she reminds me, physically, of a cute little baby monkey.

I think it's her long limbs and the way her ears slightly stick out from her perfectly round head.

Oh, and possibly her wispy hair that sticks straight up when she's done napping.

And I mean it in the most endearing way possible, of course.

Mon petite singe. My little monkey.

She fell asleep while nursing so I'm getting some work done. (and blogging. Whoopee!) Time is flying with her. She's getting so big, so, so, (too) fast.

So is she. Clementine started preschool this past week, going a few hours three days a week. She loves it. I knew she would. She's making new friends, socializing, learning, and I get to spend some one-on-one time with Vega. A win-win, if I do say so myself.

She's easily the funniest little girl I've ever known. I think she's taking improv classes at night when we go to sleep because she is drama x 100. But I love it. I always wanted a girl with some spunk.

Ethan is a 2nd grader now - obsessed with recording shows off the DVR, and currently wants this.

That boy. Got his sweet tooth from his mama.

And there isn't a 7-year-old boy sweeter to his baby sister than this one.

....but there is an 11-year-old who gives him serious competition. They fight over her - over who can make her smile more, over who she'll crawl to first. I just roll my eyes cause I know she loves them both so much!

He's in the 6th grade now. Almost 12 years old. Loves shooting hoops and is trying so very hard to convince me that he needs a cellphone and a facebook page.

NOT anytime soon, my dear. Although I do admire his tenacity.

I hear about one or the other, or both......every - single - day.

Working on his ballin' skills.

You go, Sebbie.

Can't wait for bball season.

They better watch out!

July 11

2011-07-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Vega,

I just put you down to sleep about 25 minutes ago. I would have jumped on the computer sooner, as my heart was about to jump out of my chest, full of emotion for what I just experienced with you, but as is typical around here, I had your sister to put to bed, a dinner table to clean off, and other miscellaneous to-do's that have to get done around this time.

But now I'm here - and let me tell you my little 8-month-old baby girl, you are THE sweetest thing.

Daddy gave you a bath and dressed you in your jammies. I grabbed you and took you to the mirror. You like to look at yourself (and any other baby, for that matter). We played with you for a few minutes and soon it was time for bed. Daddy wanted to lay you down, but I held onto you and sang you a made-up song as we danced slowly in our room.

"Goodnight Vega, Goodnight Vega.....

Goodnight Vega how I love you, love you, love youuuuu."

Your cheek was pressed against mine and you were so still, so quiet. I danced with you over to the mirror so I could see what your face looked like and you had your big, beautiful eyes wide open. I knew that at any minute they would probably close, so I kissed you and laid you down in the pack-n-play. You didn't make a sound as I left the room and all I could think about was how lucky I am to be your mommy.

Just an ordinary moment. But it was special. And I won't ever forget holding you like that.

Sweet dreams, my love.

Little lunch story

2011-05-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

I took the family to Pita Jungle for lunch today. I had been craving their mixed beans since I last had them a few days ago - like could -not-get-them-off-my-mind-type-craving, so I pitched the idea to Bobby and off we went.

I ordered plain hummus for an appetizer since Bobby's salmon salad was gonna hold up the rest of our meals for a good 20 minutes and HELLO, we have four kids! Food - any food - and fast. We almost never order an app. Just seems unnecessary and I always get way too full when I do get one. The waitress suggested veggies when I asked what else besides pita bread they have to dip with. Yunno, because of Seb's gluten allergy and all.

Immediately after she left the table I heard a groan and something along the lines of "I HATE THIS GLUTEN FREE LIFE!" Of course, that hurt. No one wants to hear their child say they hate any part of life, even the gluten free parts, and I empathized with him. I know it sucks to not have any regular bread. I get it. I should have just made some of "his kind" at home and brought it with us to dip into the hummus, DUH! But I didn't, and Seb was not thrilled at the thought of dipping vegetables.

So the veggies come, and so is the point of my story - I swear! And we all dig in. All of us except for Sebastian, that is. I pass out the cucumbers, tomatoes, and pita bread to Ethan and Clemmie. I ask Seb if he wants any. He declines.

Finally I lifted a hummus-topped cucumber to Sebastian's mouth and said, "Try it."

He accepted it.

"Do you like it?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"See! I told you!" And it really was good. In fact, I liked dipping the veggies better than the pita bread.

Then Ethan goes, "Can I have some more cucumbers? They're really good with the hummus, Mommy!"

And I'm all, "Pass me your plate." Of course you can have some more. So glad you like it! YAY!

And the next few minutes were filled with us (Sebbie included) enjoying our appetizer.

Later when we got home, Ethan came up to me as I was preparing dinner and whispered in my ear, "You know how I said I liked the cucumbers with the hummus today? Well, I really didn't like it that much, but I just said it so Sebbie wouldn't be sad, because you know, he can't eat the bread."

And right then and there I just wanted to grab his face and kiss him and tell him he was such a sweet boy and to thank him for loving his brother.

And so.

I did.

2011-05-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

There are some mornings that I'll walk into my bathroom and there, strewn all over the floor, are the contents of my makeup bag. I don't have to wonder even once or twice who's been playing around my vanity, going through my brushes and lipsticks and eye shadows. I already know who it is.

It is the little girl who can be bribed by a tube of lipgloss...

whose eyes light up when we come to the entrance of Sephora...

who notices immediately when I change my polish color...

This was one of those mornings. Funny thing is, she thinks she's sneaky.

But this morning, like so many others, the evidence was written ALL OVER HER FACE.

What do you got there on your cheek? Hmm?

Oh, just some of my cream blush? I see.

All dressed up (in full Rapunzel gear) and ready to go to....where else? Target!

The contents of her purse for the day.

Talking to Tinkerbell. Should I tell her she caught her dress in the door?

2011-04-26T14:36:00.000-07:00

The baby is crying in the swing. Ethan is home sick with a stomach virus and he's somewhatplaying with Clementine. It goes from happy to tears, back to happy, a small meltdown, and finally a long moment or two of peaceful playing.

I take what I can get with these two.

There's laundry to be done. I took a peek of my guest room which isn't really a guest room at all but more of a room with a bed that holds all of my unfolded laundry, and felt overwhelmed. There was a mountain of clothes sitting, waiting.

And it will wait until there are some free hands.

These free hands are busy typing. I've been feeling a little sad lately about blogging. Each time I intend to "start again," but I never do. Weeks, no months, pass by. And I guess there's a little guilt because I know how much I documented with Clemmie when she was a baby. There isn't too much of Vega on here.

So I sat down at my desk and instead of editing photos I began to type. Wondered what photos to post. What events to talk about. What milestones to brag about.

She's six months now....utterly beautiful and fills my heart with so much love everyday. She's attached to me JUST LIKE CLEMENTINE was, and although my back and arms ache from holding her growing body all day long, I love it. For now, she is all mine. She gives me kisses dripping with saliva and I relish in them. She nurses ALL NIGHT LONG and I'm thankful I can provide for her in such a sweet way. I am a zombie most mornings, but I wake to an angel. It's not so bad.

She celebrated her first Easter a couple days ago. I can't say she was excited about finding eggs or receiving a basket from the Easter Bunny, but it was still kind of a big deal to me. Clementine had a good time searching for eggs, as did Ethan. But it kills me to say that for the first time in his life, Sebastian was a "hider," not a "finder."

It kinda broke my heart. He's only 11. I thought he had at least a couple years of hunting left in him. Maybe next year with some coaxing....

So anyway, it feels good to be back to my liddo bloggy blog. Missed her. Between starting a new business, raising four kids, being a wifey/housecleaner/cook/chauffeur, and finding my own time to wind down, it's tough to find time for my favorite pastimes. Blogging is definitely one of them. Reading, too. I haven't done much of either and funny thing is I actually told Bobby I wanted the Tina Fey autobiography in my basket this Easter - I didn't get it. I think my request was too late. But hey, at least I got a basket. I even got to "hunt" for it in the morning with the kids.

Bobby is a sweetheart.

So I guess I'll just have to get a sitter, head on over to my FAVORITE bookstore, grab a bite to eat next door, and read for an hour. OR two. Alone. A little "6 month anniversary of my littlest person" gift, if you will.

Cuz like I always say, "If Mama's happy, EVERYBODY'S happy!"

Speaking of happiness, here she is in all her happiness-giving glory....

little

miss

angel

baby.

6 months.

March - a first post

2011-03-15T23:38:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how trying to manage 4 kids just takes over every minute of my day. I look at the last time I posted anything on my poor little blog and it's been over a month. A month! Everytime I take so long to write I always promise myself it'll be the last time. Yet, it never is.

I think I just realized I may never blog again like I used to. My days are filled to the brim from 7am to 12am when I finally get into bed. Then after waking about 6 times to nurse Vega (from bed, I'm not crazy) I start all over again. Breakfast, housework, playtime, showers, homework, dinner, errands, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Etcetera.

I guess what this all boils down to is it's good to be back. Even if I'm around for just these few minutes as I type away, it's nice to see my bloggy woggy again and give it a little love.

So....

For a little update....

Vega is now 4 months old and as beautiful as ever. She smiles everytime we talk to her and is just amazing. She's been teething from like, birth, and I bought her the prettiest amber necklace to keep the teething pains away. She looks very hippy/groovy when I change her and she's only left wearing said necklace. It's very granola chic. She looks JUST LIKE BOBBY. Huge eyes - beautiful eyes. Total Mama's girl just like her sister, and although she is in my arms 24/7, I wouldn't have it any other way. She is my last, by the way. The whole "mom of 4" thing - it's legit. Just ask Bobby......he had one tough day last week at the doctors and even though we went back and forth and were a bit sad at the thought of Vega being our OFFICIAL "last one," it's done. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Clementine. My darling Clemmie Wemmie will be 3 years old in wait - let me check my calenderrrrrr -- 3 and a half weeks. I'm in full party planning mode, and this year's theme is Barbie. It could've been anything really. Rapunzel, for instance, which I was tempted to do since we know every line of every song from the soundtrack that we listen to DAILY and it's SO her. But when I asked, she simply said, "Barbie" and that was that. In fact, I just ordered some really cute Barbie fondant cupcake toppers off Etsy so I guess there's no looking back now. I think this is the first year that she will really and truly understand the birthday party shenanigans. I'm looking forward to her excitement over the bounce castle and cake and presents. She's talking like a big girl now and plays outside with her brothers and neighborhood friends. Like she's one of them. Crazy.

Ethan is Ethan and is as great as ever. He reminds me so much of myself at his age. We're so proud of how well he does in school. He had "student-led conferences" this past week and seriously....he is amazing. Even his teacher tells me how much she loves him and if that isn't the greatest thing for a parent to hear at conferences, I don't know what is. He's off the charts for the Accelerated Reading program at his school, and is so eager to read everyday to keep it up. I sound like SUCH an annoying braggy mom right now, but I don't care because I don't ever brag to anyone and this is the only place I would do that because it's my personal space. So there. :)

Plus - he's funny as hell. And that's just as important as any ol' reading program.

Sebastian! My boy. Growing like a weed with his long legs and lean body. I'm learning everyday now how to parent a pre-teen/adolescent. It's strange, really. I know my little boy is in there somewhere, but he's now in this new body that likes to be wrapped in blankets as he walks around the house in this interesting "Count Dracula" way. But as long as he continues to walk up to me just to plant one on my lips, all is well. So all IS well, and I'm happy.

Happy and busy.

Busy and happy.

I have 3 photo sessions to edit by this week and I haven't even started. Life has been too delicious lately to give up any of my day time on the computer. All my babies are home (spring break) and I am enjoying every minute. Except the ones where they're hollering at one another or pinching or pushing. Yeah, not so much those ones...

But the others, yes!

And to you dear old blog, I will be back. Vega Jane will be 5 months soon. I can't wait to stop by and tell you all about it.

"Granola chic"

So cute. This boy has a love affair with the outdoors.

Eeek! Careful!!!!

(i just love her smile, so carefree, so unaware of the potential danger jumping above. ;)

Beautifulgirl - one word. All hers.

Oh! And one more thing - I am STILL working on my website, but I have a Facebook page for my new photography business. "Like" me - and let's be fb friends! :)

I don't want perfect kids, just happy ones.

2011-02-10T09:00:00.000-08:00

I sat down a few times this past week wanting to write about Sebastian but always hit delete before a story even began. I didn't know how to put into words how I was feeling. Even typing out his full name above seems a little "off."

I know it's because he's getting older. He's more aware of the idea of a "presence" on the internet. He's watched me type into Blogger countless times, knowing full well that I'm sharing not only a part of my life, but a part of his. We've chatted as I uploaded photos of him and his siblings, and he's always been curious but never bothered by it. And up 'til a few months ago, that was great - an almost "silent approval," if you will. I didn't feel what I'm feeling now.

And what is this feeling, anyway? Guilt?

But I've been thinking. He's 11 now. Maybe I'd like to write about him but maybe it's too personal. The truth is, kids his age are on the internet more than ever. I would feel terrible if this hobby of mine unintentionally embarrassed him. And where is that fine line between cute motherly musings and intrusiveness? In a lot of ways it's sad because I stop myself from clicking "publish" when I'm not so sure.

So yes, there is less of Sebbie on this blog. Less of Ethan, too. Perhaps that will change as I discover new ways of keeping their presence alive without blabbing too much. Of course, nothing is set in stone, so we will see.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The reality is - the whole intent for this particular post - is that I'm massively proud of him.

He's come such a long way in so many areas of his life.

-GF diet (to help focus and stay on task)

-homework

-attitude

-It's been a struggle adjusting to a completely new way of eating, but he's done it. And the other night when he said that he likes "his" spaghetti better than the old one...well, as you can imagine, it made my day.

-He's bringing home 90's and 100's now. He even got an award at school the other day. I swear, my eyes filled with tears when he walked up and received it.

-He's getting a grip on his emotions. This one is huge.

I am so, so proud of him.

So proud.

I have a feeling he won't mind reading that.

Drool.

2011-02-09T15:28:00.000-08:00

This little baby...

My little girl...

Is teething.

Let the good times roll!

2 words....

2011-02-02T19:33:00.000-08:00

snip

snap

Okay - a few more words just for fun.

Clemmie got her first haircut. At Sassoon, nonetheless, because hey - she got a bob, and who else knows a bob better than the guy who invented it?

But - she hated it. The experience, I mean. She would not look at herself in the mirror and the stylist was unable to check the length. We left - she was miserable and I was annoyed. I decided I would check it and fix it later. (Later turned out to be a session on a kitchen chair with a lollipop and her Barbie movie playing. She was waaaay more cooperative that time around.)

And the second set of photos - just me and Vega being vain taking about 100 photos in photobooth. I grabbed Bobby for a couple of them. She's getting so big, so fast. Already 3 months old.

Such a beauty. My love.

small bump in the road.

2011-02-01T20:36:00.001-08:00

Ethan turned 7 this past Saturday.

We threw him a party at the local Skateland complete with a huge cake, pizza, and endless pitchers of Coke. It was chaotic with at least 7 other birthday parties going on simultaneously, but I expected that. He had fun.

I think. See, in the middle of his party, he kind of got an attitude. And so did I once I caught a glimpse of said attitude.

Let me explain.

Ethan is a happy kid. By that I mean from practically day one he's been a "smiler." He would wake up in the morning with a huge grin on his face like he'd just been dreaming of either breastmilk or having a conversation with God.

He's always been pretty easygoing - so to see him have a mini meltdown at his party was difficult for me. I wasn't sure how to approach him.

Here's the story -

This kid LOVES (all caps for a reason) the Nickelodeon band, "Big Time Rush."

Loves.

So being the birthday boy, he was allowed to enter the "DJ booth" and hang out for a bit with all the members of his birthday party. Well, while he was up there, the DJ asked what his favorite song was. I was standing behind Ethan, taking pictures so I heard the whole thing firsthand. Bobby and I already knew he was going to ask him that so I had my iPod ready to play some BTR because the DJ had already told us they didn't have any of their music.

Mommy and Daddy to the rescue, right? WRONG!

He was completely embarrassed at the mere mention of BTR. He freaked out that I would even suggest them as his favorite band. He very obviously hated being the center of attention and stated so matter-of-factly, "I don't HAVE a favorite song!!!"

The DJ did all he could to contain his laughter. I couldn't blame him -I'm sure in all his 2 months of working there he had never witnessed such a scene. I was crushed. This was supposed to be fun, not embarrassing or devastating to him.

I took him aside afterward and asked what the deal was. Plain and simply, he just didn't like BTR anymore (that was the first I had ever heard of THAT!) and didn't have a favorite song AND didn't want the DJ to play any song for him.

Well, okay.....

"But," I told him, "You could have handled that differently."

And then I did my best mom impersonation and explained just what "differently" meant. He seemed to be listening.

Then his favorite song came on and he skated off.

I hope it comes true....

Shout out to my boy!

2011-01-29T21:38:00.000-08:00

Dear Ethan,

Happy Birthday. Today you turned 7-years-old. What a cool number. What a big number.

It's hard to believe that I've only had you for such a short time. What an impact you've made.

You make me laugh every day. I hope you know how much I love that about you.

You're so easy to love. And I love you from the depth and breadth of my soul.

My little Ekers. Eke-Meister. Ethan Bnethan. ET.

I used to sing this song for you. And it will forever remind me of holding you in my arms, rocking you to sleep when you were a wee little one.

(The Fuzz - in case this ever gets removed. :)

Now you're a big boy. And although I can't carry you anymore, you will always be my baby.

Happy Birthday, Ethan -

Frozen rain and a birthday party.

2011-01-18T19:31:00.000-08:00

Ethan asked to see snow last December. He asked again in the spring, then again in the summertime. He asked multiple times in the fall. Seeing as how our "high country" is only two hours away, we finally took him to see his frozen rain.

It was about time. For all of us, really. Flagstaff is so beautiful in the winter season. Truth be told, it's beautiful year-round, giving us "Zonies" a taste of the four seasons whenever we get the chance to make the short journey up there.

We left on a lazy Sunday morning with our sweaters and jackets, hats and gloves. I brought about twenty blankets, just in case. In case of what, I don't know. I just knew I had two boys, one two- year-old girl, and a baby to keep warm.

In the end, warmth didn't really matter to the boys. They could've stayed all day long sledding and playing. Clemmie and I on the other hand....our toes were frozen by the hour mark. We were the only ones without snow boots. Frozen toes or not, it was fun and I'm so glad we went.

And we got to eat at our favorite Flagstaff restaurant afterward for some delicious tom yum goong to warm our bellies. Mmm....

Even in the snow, she has to have her purse.

Nice hat, Bobby.

Me and my girls.

That's Vega right under my chins.

Nice and warm and close to Mommy. Right where I like her.

They had to take this picture before we left. I love how it was their idea.

A few days later while the boys were in school, I took Clemmie to a local fire station and she got to play in the truck. It was the only time she wasn't clinging to my leg like a little monkey.

With her buddies getting a feel for it.

Pretty Girl.

And this past weekend was my eldest niece's 18th birthday party. She was beautiful as always, and I could NOT believe it was 18 years ago that my sister gave birth to her. I love her so, so, much.

Bobby and Clemmie. I don't know what's going on inside her little two-year-old head, but she has NOT been in the mood to smile for pictures lately.

I think she's just over it. And I guess it's hard to blame her with a mommy like me who takes billions of pictures of her every year.

The birthday girl.

My niece Mirella with her biggest admirer.

They remind me so much of each other. LOVE YOU GIRLS!!!

My dad with Vega Jane. Look how big she's getting!! LOVE YOU, DAD!!

Look who got a haircut! Bobby, you're sizzling HOT. xoxo

I think she slept in this swing for about 4 hours straight. I need to invest in one of these like, tomorrow.

Me and my sister Erica, Mirella's mommy.

Yeah, I love her, too!

And finally, a tiny little tribute -----

Happy Birthday to Mirella!

May all your dreams come true!

You have so much going for you and we are so proud of the young woman you've become.

I'm always gonna brag about you because you're not only super smart, but you're a true artist with a beautiful soul.

You were the first baby I ever loved.

And now my baby girl loves you, too.

How sweet is that??

Always follow your heart and trust yourself.

You are more than just a pretty face.

Way more.

Waaaaaaay more.

You're cool and fun and I'm so glad I know you.

Let's go to a hookah bar together. My treat.

I love you.

-AK

clemmie. 33 months

2011-01-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

I've been sleeping in lately. Partly because Vega has been having a difficult time breathing through her nose at night and partly because I've just been staying up too late for no good reason other than to spend some one-on-one time with the husband. So Bobby gets up, makes the boys breakfast, packs their lunches, takes them to school, and watches Clemmie 'til I get up.

I am beyond thankful for him.

But I also can't help but feel a little guilty when Clemmie walks into the room in the morning and all I can think to do is put my finger up to my lips and give a silent "shhh," hoping she won't shout out "Good morning!" as she tends to do. Because I so want to keep Vega asleep so I can get up and hang out with her - exclusively - without having to tend to a baby. But she's 2, and all she wants to do is climb in bed with me and give her sister a "huggie." Regardless of my silent pleas.

She's getting so big now. She'll be 3 in 3 months. Wow. I hadn't realized 'til I typed that out how soon that is. My Darling Clementine. A 3-year-old.

Can the horses be held, please?

Christmas morning - stocking goodies.

"Princess Clementine!" (She stands on her chair when we're having dinner and proclaims that out loud in a very confident and regal voice. It's usually done in only her underwear with some sort of sauce on her chin. Completely and utterly adorable. Not to mention the best sort of supper entertainment.)

She.

She who talks in complete sentences now. She who tells her daddy, "Let go of me, MAN!!" She who steals my lipglosses and teases me by saying "LA LA LA LA" in a "nanny, nanny, boo-boo" tone of voice. She who walks around in her underwear all day long with uncombed hair and a dirty face and is still the most beautiful girl in the world (okay - one of two). She who pretends to nurse her baby just like I nurse her sister. And --- although she doesn't remember, how I nursed her, too.

Yes, she says her baby is hungry and proceeds to pull down her shirt and feed the baby. At first I didn't know how to feel about her emulating me, but now it's just so obvious how sweet and beautiful it is.

"nursing" her baby.

messy room. but it's playtime - it doesn't matter.

Cuddling up with Ethan watching "Finding Nemo" today. I had to capture this moment. They fight more than I'd like them to, but she loves him so much. Both of them - Ethan and Seb.

In fact,

New Years Eve we went to a party at my dad's house. We let Sebastian stay the night. As we were leaving, she had a meltdown because he wasn't coming home with us. Eventually, she fell asleep in the car and I thought we were home free from any more meltdowns.

The moment I put her in bed, she opened her eyes, and said with a quivering voice, "Sebbie?"

I had to let her down again with the bad news.

She loves her brothers so much.

It pretty much makes me happy.

Hello, 2011. Nice to meet you.

2011-01-03T23:08:00.001-08:00

Well, there goes my resolution for blogging everyday. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself since it wasn't a "resolution" as much as it was a "hope" for the year. I swore off resolutions. I never keep them. Now hope - I can manage. Hope has a fighting chance in my world.

I'm hoping for quite a bit this year. If I made a list of all my "2011 hopes" one could say I'm becoming an optimist. Okay - maybe not that far, but it would be a nice, long list. It would make Oprah proud.

So now it's the 4th day of the year 2011. It's 12am.

It started well. Rang it in with Bobby, Ethan, and Vega. Missed my Sebbie because I gave in and let him stay the night at his grandpa's. We missed the countdown on TV so we created our own. Stupid messed up cable. We literally missed it by 20 seconds because we were trying to record the "Twilight Zone" marathon while watching the masses in Times Square. I suppose that's what we get for being greedy. And being DVR novices.

And now - here I am. In front of the computer at midnight. The children are nestled all snug in their beds. (I miss Christmas, sorry.) But they are - and tomorrow they head back to class. Their first day back after 16 days at home.

I'm totally gonna miss them. I know tomorrow is going to be weird and quiet and I am NOT looking forward to homework time and the endless amounts of paperwork that get sent home daily. We never brought that much crap home for our parents to look over, sign, and return. Never. Their school paperwork alone has forced me to create another "hope" for this year:

Organization. Of. School. Papers.

I know, pretty boring and unoriginal. I don't care how it sounds. It's a serious hope of mine that I somehow figure out a new system for the piles of trees that take residence on my countertop everyday.

Anyhoo, although it almost sounds like I'm whining, I'm really, really looking forward to this new year. So much possibility. So much possibility everyday. So much possibility every hour.

Every minute. Every second.

Another opportunity to do what I want - be who I want to become.

Do I really want to write that book? Yes. Yes. Yes, again.

Do I want to become a better mother, wife? Every Day.

I also want more dates with my husband and a vacation somewhere far away. We haven't gone anywhere since '06. I really think we're due.

How about a clearer mind by going back to Bikram? Oh, my Gawd!!! YES! My body is in desperate need of movement and flexibility after this past year of being pregnant with Vega.

I deserve it. Just like Bobby deserves to go golfing more often. Yes, Honey - I said it. It's now in print.

OK - so enough about this year. It is day 4. I will get up and make breakfast at 7:30am for my boys, drink my tea, and read my book before the day really begins. This is how I hope my days will start this year.

Buenas Noches.

The old man is snoring!

2010-12-28T18:24:00.001-08:00

I took the kids to Whole Foods earlier and on the way out we got caught in the rain. We each grabbed a bag (or three - thanks, Sebbie) and ran for the car. I had Vega wrapped on my chest, Clemmie's hand in one of mine, and a bag in the other.

As we ran, I exclaimed quite literally, "Isn't this awesome?!"

Sebbie didn't think so, but I still did. It's not often one gets "caught in the rain" here in AZ. So I enjoyed it. Did it bother me that my new boots were getting soaked? Yes, it did. But then I tried really hard to not let it matter, and just like that, it didn't.

Then we came home and ate soup.

And did laundry.

I tried to put Clemmie down for a nap, but that's not so easy these days. She's finally learned to climb out of her crib. Good for her. Not for me. As much as I love having her around, those 2-hour naps she took were a godsend. I could spend some alone time with Vega....or work on the computer, or even......dare I say.....read!

But it's her time. And now we need to look for a big girl bed. That will be fun.

In the meantime, I will enjoy watching her as she nonchalantly climbs into her crib to grab a forgotten toy. One leg up, the other one thrown over, and kerplop.

It must be such a liberating feeling for her. "The escape."

So now the boys play a game in the living room and Clemmie tries on her princess jewelry.

I should start cooking soon.

The New Year is just around the corner. I'm excited for it. Truth be told, I'm excited for now.

rain, my boys, my girls, the sound of the garage which means Bobby is home, watching LOTR with the kids tonight, my clean kitchen, the new books on my nightstand, the Twilight Zone marathon we'll watch all day on New Years, my step-mom's pozolé, getting organized. Or trying to.

The Christmas card photo.

It was a nightmare to take.

You can barely see Vega but by the end of this little photo session, it didn't matter.

I was just happy that they were all in there - any which way.

They could have been thrown in there, lying on the ground.

You had to be there.

Did I say nightmare?

Yes, because it was.

A bad one.

Merry Belated Christmas!

Break a leg.

2010-12-15T11:24:00.000-08:00

I was trying to renew some library books online today when I realized they were checked out with Ethan's library card and not mine. This was slightly annoying since the computer already had all my account information saved, not Ethan's, so I would need to find his card to get the number off the back. Then I remembered he came up to me a few weeks ago saying he couldn't find his card - the same one he begged to carry in his own wallet and promised he would take care of. But anyways. After looking for it in a few random places I finally found it in my jewelry box. Not sure how it found it's way there, but I was happy it was.

I picked it up, turned it over, and saw his 6-year-old signature on the white strip staring up at me. I remembered how proud he was to have his very own library card and how he went home that day and showed it off to Sebbie and Bobby like it was his driver's license. Now he could check out his own books "all by himself." He's always been so independent; from birth, really. And as much as I sap on about wanting my kids to stay little.........more so, I want them to become independent and confident adults. I'm thrilled that he leans on himself and finds ways to "figure stuff out" before running to me for help.

His astuteness startles me. I guess his entire disposition does, too.

For a kid to come out of MY body and be THAT laid back is just as unexpected as if he were to come out blond and blue.

We watched him in his first theater performance this past weekend. He played "Jose" in the "Junie B. Jones" play his acting class put on. And he was fabulous. Not just saying that because I love him to pieces and think everything he does is fantastic. He was seriously really good. We thought he might be nervous but instead, he shined. At age six I was afraid of my own grandparents, that's how shy I was. I could not even imagine getting up in front of 40 people and doing what he did. WITH ENTHUSIASM.

We were so proud of him.

See that confidence???

(Sorry, proud mama here.)

Acting as Christopher Columbus in the play within the play.

Take a bow!

2010-12-14T19:39:00.000-08:00

I gave up trying to get "the perfect shot" of the kids for our Christmas cards this year simply because it caused way too much undue stress. So I opted instead for a humorous boxed set from Target. I had a slight twinge of guilt after my purchase knowing our annual tradition would be on hiatus 'til next year, but then the thought of the boys arguing, Clemmie tugging at her perfectly coifed hair, and Vega crying at the annoyance of being handled by someone other than me, made me feel just fine about my decision.

For about 20 minutes.

My last born won't have her photograph sent out for all to see on her first Christmas?

Ugggh........I guess not.

But you have to.

There's so much to do!

You can squeeze it in.

A party to plan for this weekend. Christmas shopping to finish. Cookies to bake with the kids.

They're CHRISTMAS PHOTOS of Your. Own. Children. Of Vega. Think of how she'll feel when she's 15, flipping through the old Christmas cards, merrily looking for her first one, only to be told it was never taken. Can you really live with that???

CAN YOU?!

Truth is, I can't. So I guess I'll be squeezing in one more to-do on our neverending Christmas to-do list. But it's worth it. Because she is the greatest gift I could ever receive this year.

And besides, she's so cute. It would be a shame not to show her off.....

I love her in this photo. Neck-less and all. :)

(7 and half weeks and perfect.)

Thoughts and iTunes

2010-12-13T22:11:00.000-08:00

Up late. Editing photos and stuff. Scrolling through iTunes. Internally complaining about my aching back from carrying Vega all day long. Then quickly remembering how thankful I am to be able to hold her all day long. Finally settling on the only Cher song I've ever really liked - "After All" - the theme from "Chances Are." Gosh, Robert Downey, Jr. is so cute. He was so young there. I'm so thirsty. Maybe it's this breastfeeding. So glad Vega went to sleep with Daddy so I can get some work done faster. Maybe I should actually be working right now. Maybe not. When do I ever get a chance to sit in front of my blog these days baby-less? I don't. Hmmm. This song is really sweet. But the beginning is the best part. "Well, here we are again. I guess it must be fate..." I'm such a sucker for romance. WTF? Why is the theme from "It's a Small World" on my iTunes? That was just so random. Which gets me to thinking about Clemmie and how when she dances sometimes she'll do this slow, almost robotic movement and if I could turn her into plastic she would be the perfect addition to the Mexican part of the ride. Not to mention the cutest. But I would never ever, not even if I could, turn her into plastic. Make her an attraction at theme park? Maybe. I totally need to insert some nursing pads. I almost typed "breast pads" because that's what I really call them, but then I thought that sounded a little too "rough," so I didn't. For blog posting sake I guess I'll call them by their given name. I think if I ever have a pair of fish I'll name them Crimson and Clover. Vega was almost Clover, FYI. Gosh. I am so not spending my time wisely....especially when I have a photoshoot to edit by tomorrow. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Everything will work out just fine. I had a conversation today that stayed with me. Ouch. My back really hurts. I need to stop slouching. I think I'm gonna start back at Bikram in January. It always made me feel so good. It's really late. Well, for a mom that wakes throughout the night for feedings. 11:29, to be exact. I should be sleeping. I still need to brush my teeth. Sebastian wondered aloud the other night what the future's version of teeth brushing will be like. I said maybe we'll pop a pill in our mouths and it would fizz up and clean it for us in, like, 10 seconds. Wouldn't that be cool? Robert Smith wrote some really amazing songs. "A Letter to Elise" is my favorite sing-aloud song in the car. I belt it out super duper loud and I don't care if people can hear me in their cars when we're stopped at a light. I don't even care that they see my scrunched up face as I get all into it when I sing the part, "...Yesterday I stood and stared wide eyed in front of you. And the face I saw looked back the way I wanted to. But I just can't hold back my tears the way you do. Eliiiiiiiise....believe I never wanted this, I thought this time I'd keep all of my promises....." I want a pair of leopard print heels so I can wear them with turquoise stockings. Maybe I should put that on my XMAS list. I think it's funny that I sent Bobby and email today showing him all the stuff I want. I felt like a little kid again. Maybe because I am. I feel drunk. I'm soooo sleepy. But I can't. STOP. TYpinG!!!!! Ok. It's time to get back to work and turn off The Cure. What to listen to....iTunes is so distracting! I had a really good day today with one sad part thrown in for flavor. Life is complicated. And beautiful. I am thankful for it all. And for Victoria Justice because I totally got down to her song in front of the TV today. And Ethan just smiled at his crazy mama. That was cool. Goodnight.

A huge build up.

2010-12-09T09:41:00.000-08:00

This whole "I have four kids under the age of 11" thing is taking some serious getting used to. Even typing that out looks sorta strange. Like, really? 4? And how old am I?

The funny thing is I'm not as young as I feel, so it's not as unusual as I make it out to be. I mean, I'm 30. Time to stop feeling like I'm 15 with four little ones crawling at my feet.

But honestly, this past week has been the first week that I feel somewhat normal. Like I can actually handle these kids and maybe even (gasp) manage them. That last concept isn't as foreign as it was, say....3 weeks ago. Instead of Mandarin Chinese it's now more like Spanglish.

And I understand about 75% of Spanglish.

So that's a good thing.

The bad news is that I am still (and always will be, I'm sure) super busy. I haven't had the time to keep up with the blog, and so much good stuff has passed by without documentation. The horror!

So without further ado, here's my attempt at playing "catch up"......

In pictures.

Sebbie's punkinhead. Oh, and his jack-o-lantern, too.

My little darlings all dressed and ready to trick-or-treat. Aren't they cute?

Sebbie as scary monkey man. He cracked me up with his dance moves for our neighbors driving by.

Clemmie as a kitty cat. Without her whiskers.

My handsome pilot.

My nieces looking way too cute.

There's the whiskers! And Vega is under there somewhere eating happily.

At the kids' fall festival My mom and nieces showed up, too! And there is Vega all wrapped up! (For you, Kirsty!) ;-)

One month already? No - too soon!!

OMG!!

Our baby shower that my sweet sissy threw for us. I made Bobby open the gifts. Ha!

So pretty.

Ethan at his music program. He's so dang cute and I love how he's so excited to see us!

Thanksgiving with Bobby's fam. Here are the grandparents with all the grandkids. Even Estevan was here from Denver!

His favorite moments. When she's nice and calm in his arms.

Haha. Looove this shot.

He loves her so much. So thankful she has great big brothers to look after her.

....and a great big sis, too. Clemmie can't get enough of her. I have a feeling they're going to be best friends.

And all of my babies.

I think this may be one of my favorite pictures ever.

Mwah!

Homework.

2010-12-02T13:52:00.000-08:00

So I'm helping Sebbie finish his "President Report" (Due tomorrow! Yay for procrastinators) and I have a girl tied to my chest. She's wrapped in about 5 feet of soft brown fabric and anytime I want to I can kiss the top of her head. It's kinda perfect. I have my hands free to get things done and she's happy and content nestled in this little makeshift womb. I love it.

I wrapped Clemmie for almost 2 years and I only wish I would have known about it 11 years earlier so the boys could have been wrapped, too. It's the ONLY way. Not even kidding. I don't know how moms who don't wrap do it. But I guess they do, because that is the way of the world, isn't it? Everyone figures it out on someway, somehow. I just happen to think this way is best. ha!

But here she is, happy and warm, safe and loved. And here I am getting to learn all about John Adams while simultaneously teaching Sebbie how to do a research paper. This is not easy for him. His rough draft was, well....rough. The funny thing is the minute I start going over it with him it's like his full potential starts to shine through. He comes up with really good points and I'm like, "where were you when this rough draft was written?" But I'm here now and I guess that's the point I'm trying to make. Some kids do great on their own, with little help from mom and dad. While others need that extra push (or shove) to get them going in the right direction.

And that's the remedy for today. Just me and my time.

And a kiss from the little girl in the makeshift womb on my chest. He's pretty crazy about her.

Quarante et un

2010-11-18T14:24:00.000-08:00

For all you non-French speakers out there, that would be 41.

I guess that includes me. As much as I would love to say that I speak French, the reality is that I took three years of it in high school and most of what I remember comes down to something like this:

"Je voudrais un pizza avec anchois et Jon Rodis, s'il vous plait."

translation....

"I would like a pizza with anchovies and Jon Rodis, please."

OMG. How embarrassing. Not like anyone knows or even cares, but see, Jon Rodis was my biggest crush in high school. And it was so typical. He didn't notice me or like me. Heck, I wasn't even his type. But I loved him. Not really love, of course, but loved like I would write his name all over my binders and mutter sweet nothings under my breath whenever he'd pass by in hopes that he might hear me and realize that I was the girl of his dreams, the one he's been looking for his whole 16 years. His.....everything.

But that never happened. Actually, it all came to a disastrous end when at a school rally I yelled out that I loved him (or something like that - I was kind of a weirdo) and he came up to me and asked that I stop doing that because it really pisses his girlfriend off.

All I could think about was how he had never spoken to me and I had never seen his face so close. Then I took a deep breath and realized in that instant I went from wanting to grab his face and kiss him as he walked up to me (with his gf following closely behind) to pure and utter disgust. At myself. At him. I had never been more humiliated and wanted nothing more than to dig a hole at his feet, throw myself in, and pull him in before he got a chance to escape.

Just kidding. My crush fizzled away that day. But - that's not what this post is about.

This post isn't about the French language or Jon Rodis or holes I've wanted to crawl into.

It's about Roberto. It's his birthday today, and as much as he loves to hear stories on how crushes of mine died out, I don't think he'd like it very much if his entire birthday tribute was dedicated to one of them.

But it is. We'll get to that later.

Today Bobby is 41 years young. He was born in 1969 which automatically makes him sexy to me since I always wanted to be a hippy, and that is my little way of having some connection with that time period. Almost immediately he became a kid of the 70's and wore those cute little numbered tees all the kids wore back then and jammed out to ABBA in the living room with his older sister by his side. He made funny faces in all the candid family photos I've seen and was obviously the coolest member of his family, even as an 8-year-old. In the 80's, he was lucky enough to be a teenager, getting through his awkward years by burying his head in textbooks and doing nightly sit-ups to The Cure. The 90's brought him his first real set of girlfriends (2, to be exact) a couple internships, and his first official job. Bobby became an accountant. He still jammed out, but instead of ABBA it was to Ween and The Pixies. He ended his relationships (he says he was waiting for me. Awwwww....) and soon after began his life as a family man.

I have loved him at every stage of his life. I know...I didn't actually know him. But I loved him. Throughout our marriage I've gotten to know so many different parts of him. I guess I'm lucky that I found someone who doesn't hide from his past, but embraces it. There are times I get to dance with the little boy from the 70's, or talk to the teenager from the 80's about our deepest thoughts. I can get all spiritual with the little hippy baby that lives inside him, and lots of times I daydream about meeting him in the 90's, when he was 25, traveling the world. I wish sometimes we were the same age at the same time and that we had met about 10 years earlier.

But then, that's just a wish. And I know it will never come true. So I am thankful for the days I have right now with him. I'm thankful for the 00's when I met him for the first time. He was in his 30's. It was 2001.

He looked up at the sky and stole my heart.

And for the record, he would never, EVER, not in a millllllion years pull a "Jon Rodis" on anyone. That's why I love him so. So this post is indeed dedicated to Jon Rodis - for giving me yet another reason why Bobby is so fabulous.

Oh, and before I close this out........

Happy Birthday to my man.

Celebrating with his family (minus the wife behind the camera).

His dad, Estevan our nephew, Ethan, his mama, Clemmie, Seb, his sis Jackie, and our Vega.

AND

the amazing cake I made for him that wasn't so amazing.

Monday morning

2010-11-15T08:22:00.000-08:00

I really, really didn't want to wake up this morning. In between the few moments of sleep I got last night the thought of having a nanny for mornings like this came to mind. Someone to come in and take care of the baby while I get a couple (or five) hours of uninterrupted sleep. Hownice that would be....

But then, no. That wouldn't work so well. Yes, I would love to catch up on some zzz's; that's a given. But then I would miss out on her waking moments. The ones when the day is new and she is either ready to go back to sleep after her diaper change, or hang out with me and Clemmie in the kitchen while I clean up. This morning all I wanted was to close my eyes and get back to sleep, but her eyes were wide open....taking in the sights of my bedroom, my face, the light.

I wouldn't want to miss that. So I laid down beside her like I always do, and she nursed. As she fell asleep I thought about her and Clemmie, Sebbie and Ethan. I thought about how I haven't been the best mom I could be these past couple of months. I've either been tired, impatient, or not in the mood to do things with them like I used to. Now that she has arrived, I'm just too busy sometimes.

Sleeping Beauty this a.m.

So I'm making a conscious effort to change all that. To make the time to be there - like really BE there. That's what being a mom is all about, isn't it?

Never being too busy for my children...

Taking the time to play WITH them...

Teach them...

So I'm excited. For the change, that is. I hope they can feel the difference. It's all up to me, and if it means the house isn't clean or the laundry isn't done, then I'm ready to accept that.

Happy kid or clean bathroom? I'll go with the kid and make time for the bathroom LATER.

Now it's action time. I have to get Clemmie from upstairs and make her breakfast. Then it's off to the doctor and maybe afterwards, a trip to the park. She loves the swings and it's been way too long since we've gone.

As for me? I've already gotten into the cupcakes we made this weekend. Peanut butter cup.

They are so good and so decadent. I've made one my breakfast for two days straight.

I just won't tell Clemmie that.

Or maybe I will.

I can already see her smile with anticipation....

Two weeks, 5 days ago....

2010-11-12T14:51:00.000-08:00

The baby arrived. At 4 in the morning. On the dot.

I delivered within 15 minutes of getting to the hospital. I was told by a concerned nurse to "blow out birthday candles" and "keep blowing them out" after she witnessed my distress on the way up to L&D. (Actually, I think I traumatized the entire ER with my moaning and wailing and if there were any teenage girls in the waiting area, probably made them take a closer look at that whole abstinence thing their parents keep talking about.) My water broke naturally as soon as I got to my room- a first for me. My doctor wasn't on call but luckily there was an amazing doc available (her shift was over in 5 minutes - score!) to help bring our baby into the world. And she was perfect.

As soon as she came out, they handed her to me and I didn't let go for nearly an hour. No bath, no weight check, just in my arms where she was meant to be. She warmed up on my chest and I shielded her eyes from the light with the towel she was wrapped in. She smelled so good. I instantly felt connected to her. I felt like even though we just met, we'd known each other for a long time.

Her name is Vega Jane, born on a Sunday, and she is an angel.

2 weeks, 2 days.

As one might imagine, things are slightly crazy on the homefront since bringing her home. The boys are excited, Clemmie is excited, but things sure are different with a worn-out and super busy mama. It seems like Clemmie has entered the "terrible two's" overnight and "challenging" is an understatement.

I had no idea my sweet Clemmie could ever act this way. And yeah, it's been that bad.

But I figure as with all things, we'll get through this. She'll adjust and hopefully go back to her normal self. And if not, then we'll deal with it day by day. I'm just glad she's crazy about her new sister and only wants to kiss and cuddle with her every chance she gets. She's even lifted her out of the bassinet on a couple occasions which triggered a mini heart attack in me each time.

Yikes.

So - as far as kids are concerned, we are officially done. Although if Bobby could have it his way, we'd have one more.

Ha.

Riiiiight.

Two boys, two girls. A nice mix and a perfect, even number. I think we'll stop while we're ahead.

In the meantime, I'm just gonna try to blog at least once a week in between feedings, diaper changes, baths, showers, dinner preps, homework checks, after-school pickups, naptimes, playdoh sessions, and afternoon walks or my conscience will eat me alive. And I can't be eaten right now. My baby needs me. Actually, all my babies need me....

Wish me luck. 4 is fun, but it's crazay.....!

Beautiful Girl.

So excited to meet her!

Asleep with Daddy on her 2nd day.

Can you say "Excited?!"

Sebbie is in love with her. She's so lucky to have him on her side...

False alarm!

2010-10-18T16:55:00.000-07:00

38 weeks today!

This is really big news around here because it's the longest I've carried any of my babies. It's quite a big deal. Just a few weeks ago I thought I was going to give birth at 35 weeks, so for me to hold out this long is just....

awesome.

And then this morning around 2am, I thought for sure we were having the baby. I called my mom and had her come over to watch the kids while Bobby and I went to the hospital. Instead of getting admitted, I was sent home. Although my contractions were 5 minutes apart, they weren't strong enough to increase the dilation. It was a little embarrassing since we brought in my bag, our huge camera bag, and our video bag. Oh well. They say it happens all the time. But to a 4th time mom? Doubt it.

I was a little disappointed, but thankful that I got to come home and get some rest. Looks like he/she needs to cook just a little bit more before we get to meet face to face. I'm so excited at this point. I'm still nervous about labor since I don't do meds, but I can't wait to meet him/her. I can't wait to start adjusting to life with another one.

Meanwhile, the other kids have been on fall break and it's been really nice being off a schedule. We wake when we want, eat when want, go where we want when we want. They go back Wednesday and I know I'm gonna miss having them around. Clemmie will definitely miss having her brothers there to play with her and keep her company while I sleep in. (oops, did I just type that out?? Secret's out, I guess... ;-)

Seb's doing such a good job adjusting to his new gluten-free lifestyle. It hasn't been easy to keep him wheat/dairy/corn free, but we're doing it and he's been very receptive to it all. Although I did let him cheat at the fair yesterday with a chocolate dipped ice cream cone. But we were at the fair - what was I supposed to do? Other than that one time, he has not had any of the above in about 2 and half weeks. It'll take him 2 months to get the gluten out of his system completely.

Make that 2 months, 2 days for his decadent wheat-filled ice cream cone.

So yes, the State Fair was a blast. The boys had so much fun - and it was so nice to see them enjoy their time together each time they got on a new ride. Strange as it sounds, it was kind of like a new bonding experience for them.

They had a blast on the rides, I had a blast with all the food, Bobby had a blast on the ferris wheel with the beautiful sunset but got stressed out later because Ethan developed a headache after getting off the "Starship" gravity ride, and Clemmie had a blast just being there.

And the people watching at the State Fair was beyond priceless.

Looking forward to next year already!

11 years old

2010-10-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

He has gone from this:

To this:

In what feels like 10 minutes.

Something about that seems a little unfair.

But nevertheless, my baby boy....my first born....turned 11 years old today. And we had a party.

I suggested a party at some "cool" venue. Perhaps "Jump Street," or maybe even laser tag somewhere with his friends. Nope. He wanted a party at home, with friends and family, a bounce house, and playtime at the park. Basically, he said he wanted his party to last "all day" instead of just a few hours. So we granted his wish. And it was quite the affair.

Grandpa being the classic "head" at the table. That's my dad for you!

A game of football at the park got the party started. It was hot, but they had a great time!

The team.

Holding his baby sister before blowing out the 11 candles. I love this photo.

HIS personal cake I made for him. 100% gluten-free and totally delicious! He whispered in my ear, "Mommy, why did you have to make it look so appetizing?! Now everyone will want some!"

Loved that. Made my day since he was pretty sad on missing out on the Costco cake.

Up close with a lovely finger mark courtesy of Miss Clementine.

I love you, Seb.

Brothers at present time!

Kisses from Mommy and Daddy!!

Gloss Addict.

Thanks to Auntie Anna for this latest color.

Mom with her two oldest granddaughters, Darian and Mirella.

Mirella will be 18 in January. So hard to believe how fast time flies.

Christian, Tori, and Mirella having fun in the bounce house! My sister and I were there, too - but no pics to prove it! Darn!

What was inside the "goodie bag." A homemade walnut and chocolate chip covered caramel apple! Yummy!

My Aunt Val and my mom with my niece, Beautiful Bella - the newest addition to our ever-expanding family!

Bobby's mom, "Grandma Vicki" squeezing Clemmie. You know she loved it!

This was the 11th birthday party I've planned for him.

I was just glad I kept the baby in my belly through it all. In the end, he had a great time and that was all that mattered.

Happy Birthday to my Sebastian. I can't believe it was 11 years ago that I saw you for the first time. And here we are today celebrating your 11th birthday. You make me laugh like no one else, and I love your style. You're so cool and are growing into one amazing person.

I love you forever

I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living

My baby you'll be.

Mommy.

Birthday Girl!

2010-10-07T17:21:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to the most beautiful woman in the world.

That would be the one in the background peeping out behind Panda's head. The one with the white bob. The one with the huge smile on her face.

(You'll have to excuse Bobby's "pondering" face here. He's quite the dork.)

She turns 61 today and we're making her dinner and cake to celebrate. She's an amazing mom for so many different reasons. But mostly because she loves all of us so much.

And even though I'm her favorite, she never lets the others know it. What a good mommy.

;-)

That wink is for anyone who thinks I'm serious.

I'm not, ok?

Take it easy.

Anyway, let's just say I'm happy to share this birthday with her.

I hope she likes her present.

Nitty gritty.

2010-10-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

I took Clemmie to feed the ducks today at the park. She was excited and surprised that every single duck in the lake came over to welcome us. Or just take our food. Either way, it was the same to her - she had them all to herself, throwing tiny pieces of bread into the water like an old pro. I hadn't taken her in a long time. Probably since she was one and half. So to her, it was like the first time. It was hot outside; Arizona is still in the 90's. So although fall has officially come, it felt more like a summer morning.

I tried to persuade Bobby to join us. I even threw in my typical line lately, "But this may be the last time we get to do this before the BABY comes!!" This, in this particular case, is being all alone with Clemmie - enjoying her - without anyone else around. I know it's important to spend one on one time with all the kids, but I think she's especially delicate right now because of her age and the amount of time she gets with me on a daily basis. She's so used to having me to herself - to having all of our attention at all times. I hope her excitement for the baby stays and if there's jealousy, that it's not too much. Hey, it happens. I'm not delusional.

Anyway, Bobby did surprise me by showing up to the park after I had already left. So Clemmie and I returned, he took some pictures of us (mostly her - because I was not in the mood for a maternity photo shoot) and then we parted ways. He went to work and I went home and sat on the couch for hours. I'd been having cramping all morning and decided it was what my body needed. Not practical - at all - there is so much to do, but necessary.

My dear neighbor was sweet enough to pick up the boys from school today, so that helped a lot. It was sweet seeing their faces today. They're excited for fall break which has officially started. I'm excited for not having to get up at 7am to make breakfast and lunches for a couple weeks. Although I had been slacking on that since my nights have been crazy. They don't seem to mind.

And now it's nearly 4pm and I still have so much to do.

Grocery shopping - mandatory since I have nothing to make for dinner tonight....

Gift shopping for a birthday party tomorrow.....

And chores.

My list is long since I haven't done much of anything this past week.

Floors, windows, bathrooms, dusting, laundry.

Ugh.

Doesn't sound like much, but with my limited energy, it's a ton. I figure I'll get the boys to help fold clothes, Ethan to dust, and Sebbie to vacuum. Whatever's left, I'll tackle. They can do it. Both are strong and capable. Besides, it's for poor pregnant mummy. Of course they'll do it.

With big smiles on their faces, too.

Ha!

PS. I'm dilated to 3 cm. Cramping daily - a few contractions here and there. But I have a feeling it's gonna be real soon...

And we still aren't set on a name.

I still haven't planned anything for Sebbie's birthday next weekend...

sigh.

Gettin' there...

2010-09-21T22:47:00.000-07:00

After going almost my entire pregnancy with nothing to show for the new baby but a round belly, I finally got some gear! I am beyond happy - clothes, sheets, and blankets are washed and folded, car seat and stroller are purchased, (Quick side note: I'm obsessed with my stroller. Who knew a stroller could make me so excited?!) the coming-home outfit for baby is picked out (which was not easy! Gender-neutral clothing is hard to come by) and my hospital bag is mostly packed.

Those few but very important details were giving me so much stress. Now I can take it a little easier. I have a feeling I'm going to go within the next two weeks, which will put me right at Sebbie's birthday......he thinks it's cool that the baby could be born on his birthday. I know better and am hoping for at least one week in between the two. So I also have a party to plan, too! Yikes!

I'm having contractions about every other day - not enough to send me to the hospital, but enough for me to cringe with pain and wonder if "this" is the moment they'll really begin. It's scary. I always go 3 weeks early, so this is too soon. I'm barely at 34 weeks. I'm kinda getting tired of all the what if it's now feelings. Like....

We went camping this past weekend and I nearly gave Bobby a heart attack when I started having a few contractions. We were literally in the most remote camping spot ever, and all he could think about was having to drive 30 minutes down the extremely bumpy road in the dark, just to get to the freeway just to get to the nearest hospital another hour away. I was so glad the contractions stopped. That would not have been a cute story to tell one day. At all.

But camping was fun (my first time) and even though my raging hormones still make me a total biyatch sometimes, everyone seemed to have a good time. The kids definitely did. Sebastian, especially. That boy was totally in his element and I loved seeing him so free and happy chopping wood and throwing log after log into the fire. He played horseshoes for the first time and was ever so proud every time he'd make a "ringer."

I was so glad we went. We never went camping as kids, and it's such a great experience - especially for boys. Not saying girls won't or don't love it, there's just something so rugged about the experience that I think little boys in particular can appreciate.

We were so remote and it was so peaceful...

Clemmie and Tina

Sebastian the horseshoe "master"

My Bobby taking break from the game.

My nieces Panda and Shaela hanging out with me while the rest of the crew played horseshoes. Bobby taught Shaela some chords and she was practicing here - she's got natural music ability. Lucky!!

Making breakfast! Thanks Dad and Tina!

Trying for a kiss.

With the flower he gave me. In a cupful of dirt so it wouldn't "die."

Woofie was soooo happy.

My boy hard at work.

But it was more like play to him. :)

So now it's a waiting game. Waiting, relaxing, destressing as much as possible...

Trying my best to enjoy this time in my life - the last time I'll be preggo.

Bittersweet but at the same time absolutely perfect.

What a difference a day makes....

2010-09-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

.....24 little hours.....

One day I'm fine. Perfect. Happy. The next....

I wake up mad at the world. It wasn't a good feeling, let me tell you. But there was a reason for my attitude, as there is for most of my attitude-induced problems. See, I didn't sleep very well last night. I have a new pregnancy companion - he's decided to join me on these last few weeks of this journey. I can't say I enjoy him at all. He's very foul and disgusting, truth be told. He leaves a very, very nasty taste in my mouth. Quite literally.

His name?

Acid Reflux.

Twice now in my sleep I have been woken by the feeling of choking. No, it's more like drowning. On my own vomit. It has got to be one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced. I spring out of bed, trying desperately to catch my breath and I feel like I'm going to DIE. Like, seriously - thoughts of death/funerals/sad children/sad Bobby go through my head. It feels very possible that I won't ever breathe again. I'm not being dramatic - it's so scary.

So - because of all the drama AF has brought me, I decided I must sleep with my upper body slightly elevated. Supposedly, that stops it from occurring to the degree it does when one lies down flat. Sure, it helps the AF - but to me, sleeping elevated is like trying to sleep while standing. It isn't easy. And it's super-ridiculously uncomfortable.

So was I a cranky b***** this morning? Absolutely.

And because of this, I would like to take this moment to make a little apology.

Dear Bobby,

I am sorry I was a freak this morning. I really wanted to kick in a wall or something. You know this is temporary, right? I love you. Thanks for being sweet when I am more sour than those powdery gum balls the kids like that I hide in the cabinet.

Good luck with the call today.

Krista.

Oh, and this isn't an apology but more of a thank-you note for a little girl.

Dear Clemmie,

Thank you for saying, "Mama....dance for me, please?" when Tori came on.

It was just what I needed. I will always dance with you.

Love you infinity to the infinity power.

Mama.

Today.

2010-09-08T17:28:00.001-07:00

Bobby just telephoned me. He's at Trader Joe's and wanted to know if I needed anything. So now he's bringing me some vodka sauce, walnuts, and lemon sparkling water. I love Trader Joe's, but they really need to build one in south Gilbert. I'm not too fond of the drive up there. I was really tempted to have him bring home some banana bread mix because it is seriously the best mix ever. Especially with mini chocolate chips thrown in......mmm....so good. BUT - Sebastian is on a gluten-free diet as of yesterday and I think my heart might break if I made the yummy bread and had to tell him he couldn't have any. So I passed. I'll have to find a gluten-free version and hope he'll love it.

Meanwhile, Ethan's doing homework in the kitchen, Clemmie's working on her coloring skills in the craft room, and Sebbie's outside playing football in the front yard with his friends.

All is well in the V household. I think it may be because I actually listened to my body today and took a nap. Almost 2 hours and it was just what I needed. I barely tidy the kitchen or run a few errands and I get exhausted. I hate feeling this way even though I know it's temporary. I'm looking forward to having my energy back. I woke up from my nap feeling refreshed and ready to tackle any obnoxiousness the boys threw my way. Although they didn't, and I was thankful for that. Sebbie did his homework with no complaints, Ethan and Clemmie laid down together in her new sofa bed, and I enjoyed the peace. I think it helps that the bulb in our family room TV went out so there is no extra noise in the house. I'm thinking a fall season with very limited TV is just what we need. More outside time - playing in the grass, sidewalk chalk art, eating on the patio.....because with the summer I've had I am so ready for the cool weather to begin. Fall can't come soon enough. After I give birth to mystery baby, I'll have had two babies born in the fall. That thought makes me very happy.

Anyway, I was pricing car seats and double strollers online today. I think I found what I want. I made my first baby purchase yesterday and picked up some white newborn onesies. Baby steps, right? Hopefully by the end of the week Bobby and I will have made our decision and baby gear will be in the mail.

I think it's so cute how he likes her new sofabed as much as she does. He's still such a little boy.

No, I don't give my kids lollipops everyday. It's just that I stopped for gas after school and when Sebbie mentioned getting some Sour Patch Kids I immediately got a craving for a Snickers. So of course I had to get a Push Pop and Ring Pop for the other two. And all was well. Hmm.

Maybe that's why it was so calm after school today!

If Sebbie could do any one thing everyday it would be this. Playing outside with his friends for hours and hours on end. It beats sitting in front of the TV or playing video games. Not like the latter is an option since we don't own a game console anymore.

And I'd like to thank my wonderful husband for bringing home these beauties for me today. I'm a total girl when it comes to flowers.

Nothing makes my day like Bobby walking into the room with a huge bouquet ALL FOR ME.

And I can't even believe I'm posting this last photo, but it's one of the few belly shots I have, and it'd be a shame not to post any of my last pregnancy. I have zero makeup on and I'm in a bathing suit. These hormones must be making me brave.

Excuse the flabbiness. I haven't worked out in 7 months. But here I am in all my 32-week glory!

Oh yeah, and that's Spiderwoman in front of me.

She cracks me up.

The 3rd Firecracker

2010-09-07T20:38:00.000-07:00

is 29 months today.

These faces are not a rarity. If you believe in the whole birth order thang, she is definitely a last born. (But not for long - yikes!)

And yes, just to drown any doubt, that is a halo above her head, thank you very much!

Next month, Clementine will officially be 2 and a half. Right now, when asked her age, I simply say "2." Come October 7th, she will have aged by 6 months. Just like that. It feels...

...all too soon.

This little girl, who quite literally outshines any bulb in the house (or the sun for that matter), is growing. She asks for lollipops in a very different way than she did a few months ago. Instead of, "Pop, please?" I now get (if I'm lucky, of course) "Can. I. Have. A. Pop. Pleeeeease?" That last word dragged out with a tilt of the head and the prettiest little smile on Earth. I should be happy that she's growing and learning so much everyday. The truth is, I am. I love watching her explore and gain more independence as the days go by. But it's happening so fast. I just have to remind myself that this is life and I am so lucky to have her with me.

I mean, I get to spend every single day with her.

How lucky I am.

Even when she does this.

You know, goes through all my makeup. Even my brand new $25 mascara.

Although she's so dang funny it's hard to be mad at her.

Could you be mad at that face?

See?

Then she can be like this.

Sweet.

And Quiet, Sharing, Caring.

Calling out for Sebbie when she's sad.

Walking into the office in the morning to give her daddy kisses.

Standing ever so still as I curl her hair then walking to the mirror afterward to check out her cuteness.

There are so many sides to her.

And she loves her cousins. Especially her girl cousins. Baby Bella is like a doll to her.

Randomly she'll talk about "Bella" and gets this really excited look on her face as if I told her we were going to meet iCarly or something.

She loves her.

This is pretty much the "Pleeeease" face. See the tilted head and cute little teeth? How can I say no?

As difficult as it is, sometimes I have to. I mean, her teeth would rot and her room would be overflowed with babydolls if I didn't.

Usually she just says, "Okay, Mama." And then I think, "She is seriously the best girl in the world."

Unless she hasn't napped.

Now, that's a whole 'nother story.....

Learning to swim

I feel so lucky to have this girl. I think we all feel that way. The dynamics are definitely different with a girl in the mix. Sebastian will give me a certain look when she's being silly or dramatic that tells me how much he loves her.

Him and Ethan ooh and aah when she accomplishes something new or difficult.

Heck, they ooh and aah when she enters the room in a new dress with a matching hairbow.

They get it.

They adore her.

We all do.

It's very cool, actually. It's good for the boys to have a sister to look after.

And it's good for me to have a little ray of light that walks around in her birthday suit and size 8 shoes.

Just in case it gets too dark where I'm standing.

31 weeks!

2010-09-02T15:09:00.000-07:00

31 weeks now. For most women that means 9 more to go. For me, however, it's more like 6. I always go 2-3 weeks early. I like to think it's because we're just too excited to meet each other.

I'm not even close to being prepared. There are no pre-washed onesies ready to go, there is no nursery set up, I haven't even purchased the car seat.

So what am I waiting for?

I have no idea. I finally told Bobby today that we need to start NOW. No more dilly-dallying. We need to at least get the bassinet ready, clean the baby sheets/blankets, and get some comfy unisex basics. And the car seat. It's pretty important to do that now since I went to the doc on Tuesday and I'm already dilated to 1 centimeter!

I couldn't believe it. The night before I was having really painful contractions, but I've never dilated this early, so it was quite a shock to receive that news. I'd be happy with even 4 more weeks, but not now. No, this is too soon. So needless to say, I'm taking it very easy right now.

I can't wait to meet him/her, but not til the end of September or early October.

Besides, I've been watching all those baby shows on TLC, and although I've done it 3 times before, I'm totally nervous to go through the labor/delivery again with no meds. Really. Freaked. Out.

Guess I can't do all the household chores anymore.

Shucks.

A little conversation

2010-08-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

I was making dinner the other night with Ethan keeping me company in the kitchen. Out of nowhere, or so it seemed, with children it never comes from "nowhere" he asked me,

Did you know the person you marry doesn't have to be pretty?

Yes. As long as you love her.

AND she loves you!

AND if she has a good heart...

AND she has to have a beating heart!

I laughed, although he meant it in all seriousness.

That's true. That's very important.

Flirty 30's, Dirty 30's, who knows?

2010-08-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

Today I turn 30.

When I was 11 or 29, I remember thinking how OLD 30 was. 30 was "mom"....business suits.....high heels....carpooler....high waisted jeans....coupon clipper.

Not me!

Yet, today it is me. Any preconceived notions I had about the lives of 30-year-old women are kaput.

I'm still the same girl I was when I was 11 and 29. I've just learned more and have little wrinkles around my eyes. I only wear heels when I go out for a night on the town and have never carpooled in my life. I don't own a single business suit, although I think they're totally sexy, and I feel amazing when I hand over my meticulously cut coupons and save $7 at the market.

Age is but a number. But do I feel defined by it today?

Yes.

You know when your parents would ask on your birthday, "So, do you feel different today?" And you never did? So you would be all, "Um, no not reeeally." And then you would smile like maybe you WERE supposed to feel different and maybe you just didn't get the memo? Well, turning 30 has been the first birthday that I actually DO feel different.

Maybe it's just the hormones - you know, the same ones that make me cry whenever I hear Miranda Lambert's House that Built Me. Yeah, maybe that's it. But I'll take it. In fact, I kinda like it.

Ahhhlmost 30.

I decided I wanted to have a celebratory dinner at my favorite pizza spot, Cibo, in Phoenix. It was a lot of fun and I had a full glass of red wine. It was delicious and it felt like years since I've had one. As usual, the pizza was perfect. So was the company...

My brother and sisters showed - which was so important to me. Clockwise from top left - Erica, moi, Anna, and Roy. I'm the youngest! Aren't they cute?? Mom and Dad showed up, too. 'Twas a great night!

And here it is. The best pizza in AZ! It's the margherita with spicy salame and it's 6 slices of heaven on earth. In other words, to die for.

Pizzeria Bianco, EAT YOUR HEART OUT! (And your 4 hour wait!!!!!)

(Truth be told, I'm dying for a slice of your pie, but this prego girl just can't stand the wait. Maybe another time we'll reunite, but for now, Cibo has my heart. And more importantly, my appetite.)

2010-08-19T13:26:00.000-07:00

What a crazy couple of weeks I've had! So much going on!

But it's good to be back in front of the computer updating whoever may read this blog about the goings-on in my life.

Like....

Clemmie started dance. Yes - okay, so my expectations were too high. She was terribly clingy and we ended up in a "mommy and me" class that she still wasn't sure about. WHICH IS FINE - I'm sure with time she'd open up and do some moves on her own, but the other babies were a lot younger than her, and it just wasn't what I was looking for. So, I'm in the process of finding a toddler class with kids her age that she will hopefully emulate one day. I think that's how that works. Monkey see, monkey do. Or something like that.

And besides, I didn't buy those tap shoes just so she can have fun with them around the house! As cute as she is with them, I'm on a new budget and extras like that have to be considered VERY carefully.

Also, yesterday was my dad's 59th birthday! I talked to him in the morning and was bummed to find out he took the day off without my knowing. I would have liked to do lunch or SOMETHING with him. He mentioned that he was 29 years old when I was born. That's like me - now. (Or at least for 3 more days - what, what??!!!) I thought it was sweet.

So a little shout-out to my dad:

I'm glad you were born because if you weren't, then I wouldn't be, either.

Just kidding. I love you, Dad. Mwah! Happy Birthday! Happy last year of your 50's! You're still super handsome as always!

And the countdown to my birthday beginzzzzzz......

Now.

3....

2....

1....

The day has come!!

2010-08-10T23:24:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is a big day.

Tomorrow Clementine will enter her first official dance class.

Not a huge deal to some, but to me.....

Humongous. Gargantuan. Colossol.

We picked out leotards and tap shoes last week and that was quite the experience. The girl definitely knows what she wants. Frills and bows - that's it. Plain cotton leos wouldn't do. Of course I indulged her and we both left happy.

Her - because she got frills and bows.

Me - because she got frills and bows. Simple, see?

So tomorrow she'll step into the studio with me by her side. She'll have a team of supporters cheering her on in the waiting area. Aunts and a grandma; hopefully a daddy, too.

Day 1 * 2 years 4 months old *I've been waiting for this day my ENTIRE LIFE.

Break a leg, Clemmie.

UTTER RIDICULOUSNESS!!!

2010-07-28T22:51:00.001-07:00

Random photo:

My boy (Sebbie) at the beach.

I love him so.

It sure has been an interesting week. I found out today that parenting is hard.

Um...just kidding. (That was supposed to be funny and didn't even come close.)

It's just that I'm tired and it's late and I'm on the computer again. Bobby entices me to stay with him in the office while he plays his 90's game - Heroes. It's like Tron - only slightly better graphics. Actually, I take that back. It's more like an updated version of the Oregon Trail. I don't get his addiction, but he is an addict. So while he plays on his computer I'm on mine editing photos. And I just know I'm gonna pay for this late night tomorrow. I just know it.

So I'm tired, parenting is difficult and it's reeeeeally hot in here. Bobby keeps it at something ridiculous like 82 degrees. I can't think in this heat. I don't know how he does it. Sebastian calls him Mr. Krabs because he's always talking about ways to save money. (keeping a/c at ridiculous temperature is one way) Is it bad that I think that's funny?

Woofie is passed out in his crate next to me and I think I just heard my bed calling my name. I wish he wouldn't bark so much so he could sleep with me. I really hate the sound of barking dogs. FYI.

My mind is all over the place.

Woofie. Otter Pops. Exercise - I need it - badly. DaVinci Code - no idea??? Sleep. This really funny post my cousin's husband put on Facebook:

"If life gives you lemons, graciously thank life and be sure to remember to have the lemons out whenever life visits." - Steve

That totally rocked my socks off today.

Sigh.......I need some sleep. And like, 3 Tums. Ouch!

The house is quiet.

2010-07-28T17:32:00.000-07:00

It's just me and Miss Clementine now. From 8 - 3, the house is just ours and we almost don't know what to do with ourselves. Nevermind the fact that I literally have about 1000 things I can be doing. It just feels weird without them around 24/7. I got so used to it - like I do every year.

So now we're back to our sleep schedule, down at 8:30, up at 7. I pack lunches in the morning and kiss them goodbye.

And they're off.

Learning and growing.

Slightly overexposed - but they're still cute.

Sebastian made friends with the new kid and is excited about his teacher. They both have really awesome teachers this year which makes ME excited. Ethan was excited to have a friend from kindergarten in his class, but she doesn't wanna play with him this year. THAT. Made me sad.

But he's 6, in the 1st grade, and I know he'll figure it out. Kids just do. After all, it's only day 3.

My boys. 1st and 5th grade.

That seems so old. I totally remember what 5th grade was like. This is a big year for Seb.

It's gonna be a good one.

I can feel it.

P.S. School shopping is nowhere near as fun for a uniform kid as it is for a free-dress kid.

Browsing for navy and white polos, khaki shorts, and jeans? Borrr-ring!

There's not much a boy can do to personalize his uniform.

Except the shoes.

And Vans and Converse were at the top of their list this year.

And is it slightly crazy that Sebastian can fit into my shoes now?

He tried on my Converse and they fit. Like a glove. He's 10. I'm 29.

OMG - I gave birth to a weed.

Everyone is a photographer.

2010-07-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, I actually went on vacation this summer. Twice, to be exact.

So where's the proof? The yummy photos?

They are stuck on my memory cards - still. I have not after all that talk about going out and buying one gone to Best Buy to pick one up. In the back of my mind I keep thinking that maybe - just maybe - the card reader on my printer will magically start working again and I won't have to buy a new one.

But I know that's just wishful thinking.

Gotta figure this out soon because picture-less posts are so booooring!!

In the meantime, here's the link to my photography blog. It's still not 100% finished, but good enough for now. My "About Me" section needs some work, and I have to post more. Way more.

But it's up. And it's exciting. I haven't done a photoshoot in way too long. Gotta start up again and get the ball rolling!

Took long enough!

Oh I almost forgot to mention.....the boys started school yesterday. It's not the same without them around. It's quiet.

I miss them. Pictures to come! (I know, that's what I always say.) But I mean it.

Pictures to COME!!!! Cause they're really cute in their uniforms. And I'm a proud mama.

$.50 a cup!

2010-07-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

The boys woke up yesterday super excited for their upcoming lemonade sale. I had promised them we would do one before the summer ended, and seeing as how school starts on Monday, this week would have to be the week. So Bobby set up the table and umbrella while Sebbie got some chairs. I put the lemonade in a jug and cookies in a cooler.

Then we waited.

And waited.

And.

Waited.

Thank God I mentioned the sale to a couple girlfriends because they ended up being their only two customers for the day. The boys got bored pretty quickly after realizing that no one else was going to patronize them. But they walked away with $6.50 each because those 2 customers were sweet and generous. And probably felt sorry for them.

The rest of the day was a slightly lazy one, not many chores were done, and playtime was in full force. I allowed it since this is their last week of freedom. I can't believe they go back on Monday. I'm already missing the lazy days we've had. The sleeping in 'til 10, the lack of schedules.

I know I'm gonna miss having them around for breakfast and lunch. Or taking trips to the smoothie shop, or running my errands with them. Clemmie will miss them, too.

I was thinking about that last night - about my boys in general, I suppose. How beautiful they are - how much heart they have - how crazy about them I am. I walked upstairs hoping to give them soft kisses and whisper sweets in their ears, but as I walked into Sebbie's room, he was gone.

Of course he was.

I walked down the hall to Ethan's room and there they both were. Sleeping snugly on his bed together, something they do from time to time. I laid down next to them and wrapped my arms around their bodies.

I thought back to when Ethan was just 2 years old - with a head full of black, shiny curls. He would run everywhere. Never a walk - always a run. Now he's a big 6-year-old with a mind of his own and he's growing. So fast. But he's still the same in a way. Still my baby.

I thought about Sebastian at the same age. A completely different child than Ethan - lots of spunk, energy, and could carry on a conversation with ANYONE who would listen. His vocabulary was amazing.

And there they were - big boys laying side by side in bed, dreaming together, probably falling asleep laughing at something funny Sebbie said.

They fight like crazy. I hate it. They can seriously get on my nerves.

But for the moments when it's calm, or for the moments when it's sweet, there's nothing better.

Bobby came to the room to get me. I kissed the boys goodnight and went to bed feeling lucky to have those boys everyday. I decided today would be a fun day.

So we'll see how it goes.

Tonight we meet the teacher. And tomorrow - school shopping.

(Still having a hard time uploading pics - problem should be solved soon! Sorry for the picture-less posts. I know they're not as fun. )

A rant.

2010-07-19T23:56:00.000-07:00

I am really bad at assuming. It's a fault. With Bobby - it's something I have to manage daily. Like when he looks at me in this certain way with a smirk it's because I KNOW he means something totally different than what he's saying. Each and every time - even though he will always deny it. I know.

Because I assume.

That's how bad I am. I believe my assumptions are totally right because I think I am the ultimate judge of facial expressions and body language that accompany people's words. To me, those furrowed brows or crossed arms mean more to me than what is being said.

And it gets me into trouble.

But I'm aware of this little quirk of mine - and I am trying to fix it. So that's a start.

Which brings me to my point - being aware is so fricken important.

I've always been an introspective person, though. Maybe it's because I was a shy child, passive beyond comprehension....soaking in my surroundings and trying to make sense of what I saw all around me. Whatever the reason, I've always wondered WHY I am the way I am and I've always tried to be better. Just because - and why not? I knew it was necessary to grow and change what needed to be changed and understand and empathize with the parts of myself that aren't so pretty. I know there is always room for improvement - and believe me I have ballrooms available. By no means am I trying to say I have life all figured out. I just really want to try.

I realize that there are many people out there that are not like me and go through life happy and content - never needing to get down to the nitty gritty of their core to understand their inner clockwork. Sometimes I wish I were one of those people. Because it can be draining.....the pondering, the work, the work, the WORK it takes to understand what it means to be human.

But after my encounters these past few weeks with caterpillars who are content hiding inside their cocoons, living their life fighting against the potential beauty outside of their dark world, I'm happy. I'm happy to break my back from the endless labor it takes to spread my wings.

It's the only way I'll ever learn to fly. And isn't that the point?

*So to those people I am referring to - who most likely will never read this blog but have the smallest possibility of doing so:

I still love you.

And wish for you the best.

....Versus Wants

2010-07-09T13:09:00.001-07:00

I need this.

We're leaving tomorrow for San Diego and I really need this.

Time away from here.

Maybe it's this heat. Maybe it's all the time spent indoors for fear of melting. Maybe it's just the "getting away" part.

Maybe it's just me.

But I need to see the ocean. Curl my toes in the sand and dig with them 'til they reach the harder, wet sand underneath. Close my eyes and listen to the sounds of the shore....the waves, the wind, my children playing nearby, my husband conversing en Espanol to his mama.

Yes, I need this.

I'm 22 weeks. I think. Ever since my due date changed that hasn't been so clear.

So I'm in the middle of my pregnancy. The hardcore sleepiness has subsided and paved the way for more energetic days. I'm looking forward to really being there with my family - building sand castles, walking along the beach, doing all kinds of San Diego to-do's. The weather is cooler there than I would like with highs in the 60's, but at least it's not in the 90's. I'll just pack some sweaters. Go buy some maternity sweatpants. Wrap myself in a blanket if it gets too cold.

We'll only be gone for a week but I think that's time to get my mind in shape. I got an email this morning that said when you take responsibility for everything that happens to you, you become free.

I needed to hear that.

It's kind of like the Miguel Ruiz books I have. I started reading the set again and am taking them with me if I get some downtime. They help. A whole lot.

And I need that right now.

Positivity, inspiration, a different perspective.....

.....and a really good pedicure.

Month 27

2010-07-08T10:12:00.001-07:00

Funny faces with Daddy - what's new? I made too much noise as I came out to snap this photo, because from inside the house they looked so beautiful, relaxing, enjoying the cool mountain air.

This post is late. As with everything lately, I have put off blogging in order to have more time getting ready for Cali next week. This summer has been non-stop. I like it that way, so no complaints, but it leaves no room for any extras.

But....I have to make some time for this post. Because it's about a little girl. The one sitting beside me right now eating a tangerine fruit bar. How appropriate. The one I still get to pull out of a crib every morning.

My Darling Clementine, (I know she can't read this right now. Someday, though. Someday.)

Yesterday you turned 27 months.
And you ran away from me while we shopped at Target.
You'd never done that before.
It was scary.
But I got you back safe and sound.
Then I scolded you.
Can't have you doing that again, yunno?

At 27 months you are a ray of sunshine. You really are. Daddy and I marvel at every little thing you do as if you were some new species of human with supernatural abilities or something. It's just that - we adore you, you see? The way you shake your body to the strumming of Daddy's guitar is seriously the cutest thing ever. You've already got so much passion inside of you. So much feist. I catch daddy staring at you sometimes like he just can't believe you are here.

I totally know the feeling.

Even your brothers get it. They both have to kiss you goodnight - every night - or Mommy and Daddy have serious hell to pay. During the day, Ethan will sometimes reads to you in your chair and I swear when I walk in the room and witness the two of you squeezed in side by side, it makes my day. And Sebastian? Well, he simply adores you. He gets a big kick out of the faces you make - and there are plenty. He helps a lot with you - buckling and unbuckling, getting you "snackies" like they have....

You're a lucky girl to have so much love.

At 27 months toys are abundant. But the one item you care most about is your black purse that belonged to Nana. You carry it everywhere and it's full of your beloved princess figurines and play jewelry. I love to watch you as you take out princess after princess, setting them up in a row so you can see them all.

You also love my jewelry box and will climb onto my vanity chair just to take a peek inside. Today, you wanted to try on a pair of my Tarina Tarantino earrings, but they were slightly too long for you so you put them up to your ear to see how they would look. It was really cute and I wish I caught you doing it on video. You always put my jewelry back where it belongs because you know it's Mama's. I look forward to the days when you will actually borrow from me. I think that's pretty cool.

At 27 months you have already been potty trained, but it lasted for only 3 weeks. We went on vacation and you decided that you no longer wanted to go on "Froggy" (your personal potty.) So you're back in diapers and it's not a big deal as I know we will try again - seriously - when we get back from Cali. It stressed me out for a while there - you were doing fantastic. But you're still just 2 years old and it will happen. No more worries.

At 27 months you are happy, innocent. You are full of joy and smiles and I'm doing my best to make sure you stay this way for as long as possible. You have every reason in the world to smile. You are loved. You are safe. You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful girl in the world.

With Cousin Miranda (Panda) in Flagstaff.

So silly. All the time. I can't get enough of it - always making me smile.

Sleeping on my back. I love carrying her like this.

Birds of a feather...

And she's a tree hugger! Are you kidding me??? I love this pic - her expression is priceless. She's really loving that tree!

Nature girl like her daddy. She will smell every flower. And she did.

This photo just makes me laugh. Too cute.

Until next month...

A Few Days Worth

2010-07-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

Sunday.

Our 4th of July Bathing Beauty making a really silly face before I took her to the pool.

She loves the water and I'm sure will be a fish like her brothers in no time.

Those legs!!

Monday afternoon.

The kids grabbed a balloon at Chick-fil-A as we were leaving.

They brought them home and made them into "friends."

Here's Ethan with "Kendall."

He's obsessed with the show Big Time Rush - and Kendall is his favorite character.

I even had to give his new friend a kiss and hug last night before bed.

Today.

My nieces Mishaela and Mirella made these bracelets for me on the 4th. When Clemmie saw mine she wanted one right away. So Mirella a.k.a. "La-la" made her one. She was beaming when she came outside to show us hers.

yes, the tattoo is hideous. I already know that. thanks.

Last night.

Sebbie measuring himself on the "height stick."

We hadn't measured the kids in a while - crazy how much they grow! We have Sebbie's first measurement when he was only 3! Now he's almost as tall as me!

Ethan looks a little excited here, no?

Getting to Know You!

2010-07-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July! May your day be happy and filled with firework fun!

I'm joining in on this week's Getting to Know You - it's a busy day, but gotta get some blogging in, right?

The questions..

1. What do you look forward to the most on the 4th of July?

Usually I would say our annual trip up to Flagstaff. However, since we already made our summer trip up there this year, I'd have say I'm looking forward to catching some fireworks - somewhere - anywhere - since it's been years since we've seen them on the 4th.

2. Are you a hugger?

Growing up in a Mexican-American household, hugging was the norm. We hugged hello and we hugged goodbye. To ALL relatives. It was a tad uncomfortable sometimes, especially being super shy like I was, but the parents forced me. Now it's just a part of who I am and how I greet friends/family regularly.

3. What is your favorite BBQ'd food?

I love a really good potato salad.

4. Do you like to watch parades?

Not on the 4th! It's waaaay too hot in the Phoenix area. When we're up in Flag, though, we almost always watch their Independence Day parade. It has a smalltown vibe to it that makes it really unique and special.

5. Who has stinkier farts..boys or girls?

BOYS!

6. Vampires or Werewolves?

If this is another way of asking if am I Team Edward or Team Jacob, it's Team Edward all the way.

He is beautiful. Period.

7. Do you read your horoscope?

Sometimes - but only for fun. I love astrology - but don't believe the magazine scopes whatsoever. :)

8. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Oh, there's so many! I am such an ice cream junkie.

But my favorite frozen treat ever is Ciao Bella's Raspberry Sorbet. Unbelievably good and guilt free. Not sure if that technically qualifies as an "ice cream," but it'll have to do.

TGIF!

2010-07-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday! I'm joining in on Five Question Friday and Friday Follow! So if you're stopping by for the first time, welcome to my blog! If you're already a follower, I love you - you're the best!

If you wanna participate in FQF, you can link up over at My Little Life.

For Friday Follow - (couldn't grab the image, sorry) link up over at FF.

Here goes.

1. What is one thing you miss the most about childhood?

Definitely miss the easy-peasy lazy days of summer when I would stay home with my older sister and my cousin Laura doing absolutely nothing. We'd wake when we wanted, eat what we wanted, and got into all sorts of mischief. It was great, and MY GOD was I the biggest dork ever!

2. Are you still friends with your friends from high school?

I keep in touch with some of them on Facebook, but as far as actually getting together, being real friends - I would have to say only 2 are on that list. My best friend Clara being one of them.

3. Is there a catch phrase, cliche, or word that just drives you bonkers every time you hear it?

redonkulous

4. What is one thing that you think symbolizes America...besides "Old Glory"?

I always think of our National Monuments - you know, the ones that are always getting destroyed in movies.

5. What are your 4th of July weekend plans?

So far - a couple BBQ options for the 4th, but we definitely want to go see fireworks in the evening since we haven't seen them in over 5 years. We usually spend this holiday in Flagstaff and they don't allow fireworks up there. So I'm excited for the boys to finally see the lights in the sky!

SUPERmarket.

2010-06-29T14:24:00.000-07:00

Made a trip to my favorite grocery today with 3 hungry ones.

But first we stopped at the bookstore and picked up some goodies.

We each picked out a book - and although it's not here Sebbie did, too.

He chose Andrew Clement's Things Not Seen. Must be good because he's already read it!

Found a letter for my mantle. B is for Bobby. Now to find the other 4......K, S, E, & C.

Eating lunch at Whole Foods. FINALLY!!! Ethan was not pleased with the raspberry jam they put on his pb&j. But he ate the entire sandwich, anyway.

Sebbie with a full tummy of turkey stew and a guava Izze to wash it all down....

And the princess. She even wears her crown to the grocery store!

Anniversary in Fotos

2010-06-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

By the "reflecting" pool at the hotel.

Earlier, we dined at Rokerij in Phoenix and gave ourselves a private tour of the resort.

The Royal Palms is gorgeous. Every last square inch.

Took about 10 of these and could not for the life of me get all of Bobby in.

Breakfast Saturday morning at La Grande Orange. This is my plate - but Bobby's was DIVINE. The best breakfast sandwich ever. Then he bought me some accessories for my kitchen from their market.

Hey, I'm a housewife - that stuff excites me!

After, we painted together at As You Wish. He made me a holder for my makeup brushes and I made him a plate for us to use together ( for breads, brie, fruit, etc.)

They'll be ready on Tuesday. Can't wait to see them after they've been baked and glazed!

Happy.

That night we had dinner here.

It was nothing short of amazing.

If you live in the Phoenix area, you have to try this place.

I had a virgin mango-rita, and the pollo poblano.

We were a little hesitant about eating here since the reviews were so mixed, but we will definitely be back!

Of course, our night was not complete without some dessert from our hotel's restaurant, T.Cook's.

I MADE Bobby order the vanilla bean gelato for himself just so I could taste it. He's not a dessert guy and would usually just share with me.

But I'm so glad he did because I didn't want to share my cheesecake créme brulée!

Awwww.....

Leaving Paradise.

Being goofy at Matt's Big Breakfast in Phoenix.

We waited an hour in the scorching heat to try the food here.

Crazy? Probably.

But my pancakes were the best I've ever had in my entire life.

Hands down.

'Twas a great weekend.

But it's good to be back home where I belong and where I am needed.

A little dedication

2010-06-25T09:21:00.000-07:00

I don't work.

Therefore, I don't bring home any type of bacon.

The contribution I make to this family is me. That's it.

Bobby and I agreed that this is what we wanted for our family when I was pregnant with Ethan. We thought it would be a good thing for one of us to be home with the kids, and since he made more money than I did (and the fact that I got fired when I was 4 months pregnant) I was the chosen one.

I feel so grateful that I'm able to do this. That I'm able to wake up and see my kids each morning, pack their lunches, wave to them from the doorway as they leave in daddy's car with their little sister at my side. I know many women would love to stay home, but financially it is an impossibility.

My kids will grow up with memories of me always being there. I love that. Sometimes I feel a little guilty since Bobby can't say the same, but I'm always the first to tell them - if he could, he would - believe me. They get it, and this is the way it works for us.

There are times - namely birthdays, anniversaries - that it feels a little strange to splurge on a gift for him. I mean, yes, it's our money, but really --- he's the one making it all. So I kind of feel like he's purchasing the gift for himself. He's never, ever made me feel that way.....it's all me, but still.

So, I decided that since today is our anniversary 7 years - woot woot!! I would make a dedication to him. Not a song, not a movie. We have those already.

I dedicate this instead: My 20's.

Wow, oooh......aaaaahhh......

I know, I know, BIG DEAL, right?

But that's my dedication. I got married at 22 to a guy I was head over heels about. Crazy in love.Crazy. He got married at 32 to the girl of his dreams. (His words, not mine) But he got a lot more than he bargained for. He got a girl that didn't know herself, was insecure, didn't know a thing about relationships, and had to work through all of this and more through most of their marriage. Yet, through it all, he never backed down. He was by my side - through the shittiest of the shit....and there was lots of it. He was there - let's make it work, we can do this. I'm here for you. I'll do whatever it takes.....

Such magic words.

Sometimes I don't know why he stuck around during the painful moments. The ones where I was unsure of us, unsure of myself, this life I chose. I only know that I'm so glad he did. Who else would put up with my obnoxiousness? just kidding.

He is the one person in my life that I strive to be like. Sure, there are other people in my life that inspire me, make me realize that people can change and I'm glad for where they are in their lives, but I actually want to live my life the way he does. Not in a weird way - at all - but the way he views the world with such optimism lights a fire within me. Makes me want to be more.

I don't know how I snagged him up, but I guess it was meant to be.

7 years isn't a long time, but it was long enough for me to realize what I had/have.

Everything.

Our honeymoon in Northern Cal, 2003

So Bobby, thank you. For 7 enlightening years of marriage. For 7 years of patience. For 7 years of unconditional love. For 7 years of telling me how beautiful I am every single day. For 7 years of making me see what a marriage could be. For 7 years of just being there. Thank you for it all.

I love you a million x infinity x google.

Your Girl,

Meteors and Wind

2010-06-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

So.

I know I haven't even blogged about our trip up north to Flagstaff yet, but I just had to post these photos. (See, I'm super busy planning our anniversary for tomorrow and blogging has unfortunately, yet again, taken a backseat.)

I can't even begin to describe how hilarious this moment was....

Bobby was wearing my Vatanai because it was chilly and he didn't bring any sort of jacket. Of course. The boy from Chicago never thinks he'll get cold......

The wind was insane.

Loud.

If I was thin, it probably would've pushed me into Meteor Crater.

Glad I had some extra weight on me.

Thanks, Little One!

Quatre.

2010-06-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I woke up with a little more zest than usual.

I was going to see Baby #4 for the first time.

Usually, I would have had an ultrasound done around the 8 week mark and another around the 18th. This time scheduling was different, and it felt long overdue. I wanted all the kids with us, but Sebastian spent the night with his cousin OD, so only Ethan and Clemmie tagged along to get a view of their newest brother.

Or sister.

We didn't find out! I was so proud of us because I know we were both so curious especially once we saw the baby moving all around inside my belly. But as anxious as we were to find out, we stuck to our original plan and I couldn't be more excited.

We've found out what the sex is for each pregnancy before. We want this time, our last time, to be different. I want to experience the whole, "It's a ______!" excitement in the delivery room. How cool would that be?

I think very.

Since we're going down this route, we need two names ready to go. The night before, Bobby was going over the "Top 100 Baby Names" lists on his phone (turns out there's a few, and the names are totally different on each one. I just don't want a name in the top 50....forgive me). We already have a girl's name picked out but I also like Molly and Camilla right now. Bobby likes them, too, but nothing can sway him from the one we already have (which I can't divulge - sorry!!!). As for boys, we don't have a final pick, but he loves Oliver and I love Leonardo.

So we'll see.

Yunno, this whole baby thing was so not expected. And the first 4 months? Miserable.

But now - now that my energy is coming back, now that we saw him/her....now it's getting fun.

Our Last One.

(This is not the heartbreaking photo I wanted to share for today. OBVIOUSLY. But my card reader isn't working and I can't upload my photos from Father's Day. Bummer! Hopefully I can make a stop at Best Buy today.....because I'm telling you, it's SAD!!!)

The Best

2010-06-21T13:02:00.000-07:00

Oh, the busy-ness of me! How I've missed Blogger - and catching up on all my favorite blogs!

Our vacation in the mountains was much needed, but I'm so glad to be back home. I still have a suitcase full of clothes that need to be put away, but there's been so much to do since we got back!

Clemmie completely reverted back to her pre-potty trained days in Flagstaff, so it's been really tough to get her back on track. At least a few times I've wanted to give up, especially because now she's so defiant about going. But I started again today. And only one accident so far.

So I'm hopeful. I'm a bit annoyed at the whole situation and her upturned nose at every potty request, but hopeful nonetheless.

She's upstairs sleeping right now, no doubt naked with her diaper thrown on the floor. Gosh, I hope I don't wake up to pee-soaked sheets again. Fingers crossed - she may have kept it on, right? Riiight.....

The weekend was great - and Father's Day was awesome. The kids spent about an hour making him beautiful pictures and we woke him Sunday morning with kisses and hugs and presented them to him. It was a rushed morning, getting everyone ready for breakfast at my sister Anna's house, but the day turned out great just hanging out with my family.

Bobby spent most of the day watching the World Cup and the US Open - and since it was his day I didn't make a big deal about it. Because if it wasn't, of course I would! Just kidding. Kind of. Actually, if it wasn't so damn hot I would've insisted he play 18 holes yesterday. He totally deserves it. I know every wife out there thinks their husband is the best, but seriously, mine is.

Sorry. Hey - someone had to be!

He works all day long, and when he comes home he is always with us. If the TV is on, he shuts it off and is just WITH us. He never complains. He has the most positive attitude I've ever met in another human being. He is incredibly smart - and that is truly an understatement. He plays guitar - major bonus points right there for sexiness. He never misses an opportunity to tell me all the lovely things a woman should hear. He is forgiving. Insightful. Understanding. Compassionate. Funny. Incredibly dorky. Romantic. And an amazing dad. I know our boys are learning so much just by watching him.....integrity, honesty, and what it means like to be a family man. Most importantly, they are learning how to treat their future wives. And you have no idea how happy it makes me that they're learning from the best.

Happy (belated) Father's Day to all the great dads out there....

And to my own. My beautiful daddy. I love you....

P.S. I have the most heartbreaking photo to share tomorrow.

stay tuned...

Mountain Girl: Day 2

2010-06-11T14:47:00.000-07:00

*Welcome Friday Followers!!

Thanks for stopping by!

Here I am, finally in Flagstaff, typing away in 68 degree weather. Didja hear that??

68 DEGREE WEATHER.

If you're not a Zonie, you probably can't appreciate the magnificence of that last statement. Quite the change from the 106+ degree weather we left behind in Phoenix.

And it is breathtakingly beautiful here.

We took a walk in the early afternoon and I actually wore Clementine for the first time in a looong time. She loved it. I used my pink Vatanai and did the back wrap cross carry. I was completely out of breath at the tail end of our walk, trying my best to keep up on the long incline to the top of the hill.

It was not easy. But I realized how much I missed carrying her around like that. We used to be literally tied together all the time. So as difficult as it was carrying around an extra 30 pounds on an incline in this high altitude, it was so worth it.

I'll have to post pics later when I can actually upload them into my computer. This laptop barely allows me to blog.

As for now, we are getting ready to hit downtown. I'm thinking my favorite Thai restaurant for dinner and possibly a stop at the locally owned toy store for some goodies for the kids. And for me - they have the best saltwater taffy in the world. Mmmm.....

Yesterday : on our way. Pregnant girl relaxing while Bobby drives.

Clemmie on the deck enjoying the beautiful weather and showing off her glass slippers.

*These are the only photos I can post right now. More to come later when I get home!

Happy Friday!

Farewell....

2010-06-09T23:38:00.000-07:00

For now.

I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow!! Woo-woo!!

Not sure if I'll be able to fully blog (yunno, with yummy pictures and stuff) from my laptop, so this may be my final post 'til I get back.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Oh, and before I forget, just a final word or two or four to the horrendous 100+ degree Phoenix heat that has me dropping my A/C more and more each day sending my electricity bill to skyrocket and will probably send Bobby into convulsions when he finally sees it.....

See ya later, Sucker!!!!

It's 106 and rising....

2010-06-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

.....so what to do after a dip in the pool?

grab a scoop of your choice, half a watermelon straight from the fridge,

and dig in!

Instant refreshment.

There is a Season...

2010-06-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

She's sleeping now, I just put her down for her nap....a late afternoon nap that she's gotten used to due to the summer vacation perk of late nights. I picked out the book this time, the tearjerker Someday, and it was a nice break from weeks of evil stepsisters and glass slippers. Afterward, I sang to her and she nestled into my neck as we rocked back and forth.

"She runs like a fire does just picking up daisies

Comes in for a landing, a pure flash of lightening..."

She is 2 years, 2 months old today.

Her size 18-24 months are neatly folded at the bottom of her closet, never to have her little head poke through them as we're getting dressed ever again. She is practically the length of her crib now, where she requests extra kisses from me every night and smiles brightly for me and daddy each morning.

She is truly a light.

She is a little flower. A poppy, perhaps. Or a daisy.

There are remnants of her all over the house. Dress-up shoes sprawled all over the living room, jewelry on the kitchen floor, purses in my bedroom. My bathroom has turned into her dressing room. My clothes have become her clothes. My makeup case (yes, CASE -- I'm a former makeup artist, so kind of obsessed with the stuff) is her makeup case. I've found her at least a few times with green on her cheeks and brown powder on her eyes. And she is a lipgloss junkie which amuses and terrifies me at the same time. She doesn't wear it all the time, but when she manages to sneak her way into my purse and grab hold of a tube, you'd think she'd pay her whole future life savings for just one swab of the glittery goo.

It's cute. No need for explanation there. But it scares me because, hello? Like I really want my 2-year-old wearing makeup. That's just ridiculous. But when she dons my glosses I know it's just her way of saying, "I'm just like you, Mommy."

And is that really such a bad thing??? Of course it's not. Especially when it's smeared all over her top lip right up to the tip of her nose.

I mean, this is what I wanted. She is exactly what I hoped for.

More, to be honest. She is way more than I ever thought my daughter could be.

I sometimes hope that the magic bean in my belly is girl so that she'll have a sister. But other times, most times, I hope it's a boy because Clementine is my one and only.

She's the one I'm going to go shopping with, the one I'm going to read all the fabulous princess stories to that my boys aren't interested in. (Well, maybe Ethan is, but not for much longer..) the one I will get my toes done with, and the one I will take to dance class and fuss over her insanely cute costumes.

Dance class.....sigh.....

The one thing I was sure of when I had her was that she would learn to dance. She would go to dance class the moment she was old enough. And that time has come. Just about one month to go.....

She'll dance to anything - and if iCarly comes on, she'll stop what she's doing and run into the room and dance like a mad woman.

She is fearless. And I pray that her fearlessness never ends. I look at her and hope that she is just as feisty in 10 years as she is today. I want her to speak her mind and stick up for herself. I want her to be strong, kind, and to stay true to herself. I want her to always dance the way she dances now. Without embarrassment, without the need for approval.

But I also know that no matter what I want for her, ultimately she will grow into her own person. She will have her own mind. She will follow her own heart. She will dance to the beat of her own glorious drum.

And that is beautiful, too.

But for now, at 2 years 2 months, it's popsicles and swimming in Mommy's arms. It's naptimes and babydolls. It's comfort in Mommy' song and fun rides on Daddy's back.

For now, 2 years 2 months is pretty. darn. fantastic.

Getting To Know You!

2010-06-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

Joining in on this week's Getting To Know You over at Mannland 5!

The questions..

1. If a person has a booger in their nose. and you can see it, do you tell them?

Absolutely. That is probably one of my biggest fears, so I know how much I would appreciate it if someone discreetly told me.

2. What are you passionate about?

My cliché answer is my family.....although as cliché as it is, it is true. I love them, my life is devoted to them, and I spend countless waking hours trying to find ways to make life better for them. And for my not-so-cliché answer, I would have to say art/photography. I could go to the museum every weekend and not get bored. I could take photos every day and not grow tired of doing so - there's something almost spiritual about having a creative outlet and also being able to appreciate the art that others have brought into the world. There's nothing like it, and without it, the world would be a glum place, indeed.

3. How long have you been blogging?

Since May of 2008, I believe.

4. What is your favorite "summer" drink?

While prego (which is now) I'd have to say an ice cold bottle of carbonated water with lemon essence from Trader Joe's.

While not prego - ice cold cerveza....mmmmm......been craving one so bad lately.

5. What is your favorite type of music?

Gosh - I literally love a little of everything. My iTunes is a colorful cornucopia, to say the least. If I'd have to pick, I'd say I most often turn to "folksy-alternative" if that's even a genre, and of course - The Smiths. Would DIE without The Smiths telling me how awful life is. But it's beautiful, too - and I like a little macabre in my music. Nothing wrong with that!

6. Something I do before I go to bed is......?

Kiss my husband goodnight.

7. My Summer vacation plans are...?

Lemonade sales with the kids (I promised - it's already set in stone), hanging out by the pool, museums, splash pads, one week in Flagstaff (hiking, exploring, board games, cooking, relaxing, stargazing) one week in San Diego (beach, beach, beach). Can't freakin wait.

8. My favorite must have, can't live without, beauty product is?

Kiehl's Ultra Facial Moisturizer with SPF 15. I love it and it lasts for. ever.

School's Out. Day 1. Yikes!

2010-06-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

What a week.

Yesterday, the boys had their last day of school. I think I was as excited as they were. I got up extra early and both me and Robert took them to school together. I wanted to see Ethan walk through the kindergarten gates one last time. Next year, he will join Sebastian by the basketball courts where the "big kids" enter the school.

It was a very bittersweet moment. He was so happy walking with his classmates in his "free dress" attire. Just the night before he "graduated" with his class - complete with him singing the cutest songs on Earth and lots of smiles for just for me. I say just for me because I was making silly faces at him while he was singing and he thought it was the coolest.

Tuesday night waiting for the "graduation" to begin. Thank goodness for the clouds overhead! It was a hot one!

(For the record, she wasn't acting as sweet as she looks! All she wanted was my lipgloss and about 10,000 dum-dums.)

Aww, Sebbie....it feels like just yesterday we were here for YOUR graduation.

xoxo

Excuse the blonde head in the foreground. We WOULD be sitting on the opposite side of where he stood! Sheesh!

With his lovely teacher - we both adored her. We'll miss her next year!

After the ceremony, Ethan served us cookies in his classroom and we watched a slideshow from the school year. Images of Ethan with his fellow kindergarten buddies made Bobby choke up. It was sweet. I just couldn't believe how fast this year went.

We had a late dinner at Chipotle, because that's his favorite fast food place EVER - and talked about the following day. It's free dress day? You can bring a spray bottle to play?

And then, that day came and went. I picked them up from school and we went for a celebratory ice cream at Baskin Robbins.

They did it! And summer had officially arrived.

So how was the first day of vacation?

Well, Seb and Clemmie got on my nerves within the first two hours. I know, I know, sounds mean. And Clemmie will be happy to tell you that I am. However, I was pulled into the bathroom about eight gazillion times in a 15-minute time frame and I just about lost it. I was so over it. Like, okay....fine "Miss Thang." You know you have to go poop, but you say you're "done" as soon as you sit down. My patience levels were not very high and I just wanted to hand her over to Bobby and go to the bookstore or something. BY MYSELF.

And I get it....I do. She's still learning, there's going to be a lot of "false alarms"....yada yada yada. Whatever. It was still annoying. I feel bad about it, too, because she's doing the pee thing reeeeeallly well. This poop thing, though - I don't know what it is, but it's taking a lot longer than I had hoped for.

And Sebbie? Well Sebbie gave me serious attitude when I asked for his help bringing in some chairs from outside this morning. I. Don't. Think. So! So I made him pick up Woofie's poop in the yard, just for fun.

I hate complaining. Will not tolerate it. He changed his attitude and then we all went swimming out back. It felt wonderful and I'm so glad Bobby fixed the waterfall motor. Makes all the difference.

Then - and only then - did Clemmie decide it was time to do the deed. Right there. On the pool deck.

Awesome.

20 minutes before the disaster.

Looking cute, and those thighs.....I just wanna eat them!

Mr. Ethan enjoying his first day off. Sebbie did, too. But I couldn't take a decent pic of him with his head under a raft the entire time!

Vamp. Re-vamp.

2010-06-01T16:47:00.000-07:00

So, redecorating my home has been on my mind a lot lately (so much so that I created a memo in my phone listing all my ideas at 2 am one morning. I mentioned I'm OCD, right?)

I've lived at my current home for over 6 years now and feel it's time to update and get it to looking more ME. Not "me" literally....that would be quite scary and vain, but ME - my style. If that makes sense. I don't have a particular theme I'm going for, but more of a "look" that I want to achieve. Kind of bohemian meets modern meets eclectic meets vintage. All rolled into one big..........disaster.

Just kidding. It's gonna be great, and even if everyone who walks into my house hates it - I will love it because it is exactly what I want it to be. I figure I spend enough time here I may as well love what I see. Makes sense, no?

So today I was going through my craft room which is probably room #7 on the list from most important to least, and I realized that there's so much I put off and doing so adds clutter to my home. For instance, there's this really cool little cabinet my mom gave me a while back.....it's old, shabby, made of dark wood. I immediately wanted to turn it into a Frida shrine, but with an edge of Crafty Chica-ishness. I started to paint it, then stopped. Just like that - all my awesome ideas for it have just sat there for the past year waiting to be brought to life. It was supposed to hang above the toilet in my hot pink powder room along with my other Frida decor, and instead it rests, seemingly forgotten, on the craft table.

Sad. Alone. Practically dead. Just a wee little pulse, mind you.

So I took some pictures of it. And I'm posting them here.....hoping the buddy system just might MAKE me stay on task and complete the darn thing already.

The boys are officially off school tomorrow so this week I should make some progress on it. I have three photo shoots to edit, my photo blog to finish, and some fun time to squeeze in with the boys. So yes, I should make some progress on it, but it may just have to wait 'til next week.

See how I do that? That was just so easy to type out. NEXT WEEK.

That is called procrastination. That is no good.

I need a manager or a big mean giant to keep me in line. I need deadlines. I need help. :)

How do you manage your goals/to-do's?

The Craft Room.

Such a boring name.

I think I'll christen it with another when I am finished bringing it back to life.

The Cabinet.

I took off the door so now it's more of a shelf. I have some before pics somewhere but I'll post them only when this is complete. Right now, there is no point. It still looks bad!

The Goddess herself.

I love this picture of her - it's kind of a mixed media representation - and it's so awkward.

It'll eventually be on the bottom of the cabinet as if she's inviting you to come inside.

Faaavorite!

I love my ___ room. I really do.

It inspires me.

I just need to give it some TLC.

*And maybe a little massage and some pan dulce.

Tag!

2010-06-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by the beautiful Marcela from Culture Mami this morning and it's a fun one! Thanks, Mami!

The rules.....

Go to photos, then your eighth folder, then your eighth photo....

Now tell your story....

January 3, 2009

I took this photo of Ethan when we were at the Fiesta Bowl Parade in downtown Phoenix. He was soooo happy to get his own personal pizza from the guy walking down the street (he asked for one more than a few times).

He would be 5 by the end of the month.

I'm glad the 8th photo from the 8th folder happened to be of him.

'Cause today he graduates from Kindergarten.

Maybe we'll celebrate with a pizza night.

That would be most appropriate.

I am tagging:

Carol from Knee Deep in Mommahood

Mama Hen from Mama's Little Chick

and

Heather from Oswald Cuties

Friday, Friday

2010-05-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

So I'm participating in 2 Follow Fridays today!

If you'd like to join, click on the links above and join the partays!!

Since I'm trying to meet some new bloggers and bloggettes, I'll fill you in on a little about me. Just in case you were wondering who in the world would name themselves and their blog after a psychotic mother from the 60's. (Hey, that was just the daughter's side of the story, OK? Stop the tears, Christina. Just stop it!)

Here goes....

1. I'll be 30 in just a couple months and I'm terribly scared yet excited at the same time.

2. I can't even celebrate with some champagne and party hardy because.....

3. I'm pregnant with my 4th child. Yes - 29 years old and working on number 4! Yikes!!!

4. I'm OCD. No, like I'm LITERALLY OCD - not the kind where you just casually say, "oh, I'm so OCD about Taylor's clothes not being wrinkled!!!" Unfortunately it's a serious chronic condition, but I have it under control like 90% of the time. Thank God, too, because seriously, OCD sucks arse. Bigtime.

5. I'm fotomamacita! Well, on Twitter that is. *Follow me!!* See, I have this passion with taking photos and I'm starting my own little business with that passion of mine. Wish me luck 'cause I think there is something like 800,000 photographers in Arizona. sheesh.

6. I could live off of these things:

chocolate covered strawberries

sourdough bread and creamy whipped butter

mangoes

Perrier

chicken shawerma - OMG - now I have a craving. Dangit!

Real Housewives. NY, NJ, OC, and Atlanta --- in that order.

7. I am dying to compete in an amateur Latin ballroom dance contest. As soon as I'm able, I am signing up for classes whether Bobby wants to do it with me or not! I seriously think about it ALL THE TIME.

8. I'm redecorating my house! One room at a time so I don't stress out too much - and I'm starting with my living room. I'll be posting before, during, and after pics. So stay tuned!!

9. I'm short. Reeeeally short. Like, 5'2".

10. My kids drive me bonkers but I love them to pieces and am so grateful for every single day I have on this planet with them.

11. I am waaay sappy. Sorry. Can't help it.

12. My 7th wedding anniversary is coming up and I have NO IDEA what to get Husband. Any suggestions would be most appreciated. Isn't 7 supposed to be lucky or something? Hmmm...

And that's a little about me. Happy Friday Follow!